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Some developed countries now have unemployment problems.why do people still want to immigrate to these countries

Some developed countries now have unemployment problems. why do people still want to immigrate to these countries 0Bwe5
In this developing world, a number of communities faced unemployment problems. Although this phenomenon still increase nowadays, due to fact ther people migrate to other union. There are  several factors which causes this phenomenon. Thus all the root causes are explained in the following paragraphs with logical conclusion. To begin with, first and foremost, owing to better facilities, more compitition and enormous amount of population are  reasons for migration Furthermore, some popele believe that overseas nations are provide free education, electricity and  healthcare facilities. due to  this immigation, people aquired number of availibities and improve their life standard in community. To exemplify, A survey was done by, India population counting group in 2018, revealed that 5% of Indian's family shilfted to Canada, not only for free education system of their children but also for better medical facilities. On the other hand, Many parents or children moved  to other countries earlier and became permanent resident of that union. Now they would like to reside with their family members; therefore family members have to migrate to another country, even no job available respective to their fields. Moreover, Overseas countries are provide job, which  has highly amount of pay. Therefor, people attracted towards in enthusiatic manner. To conclude that, There are many facilities, which provided by other unions. Thus, citizens more likly to do migration dispite self country have unemployeement difficulty. Improve number of facilities and reduce taxes on daily life accommodation, people would like to love their community.
In this developing world, a number of communities faced unemployment problems. Although this phenomenon
still
increase nowadays, due to fact
Possible spelling mistake found.
ther
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people


migrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
union. There are
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
several factors which causes this phenomenon.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
all the root causes are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in the following paragraphs with logical conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
first
and foremost, owing to better facilities, more
Possible spelling mistake found.
compitition
and enormous amount of population are
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
reasons for migration
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
popele
believe that overseas nations are
Consider using a past participle here: "provided".
provide
free education, electricity and
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
healthcare facilities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
due
to
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
this
Possible spelling mistake found.
immigation
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
aquired
number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
availibities
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their life standard in community. To exemplify, A survey
was done
by, India population counting group in 2018, revealed that 5% of Indian's family
Possible spelling mistake found.
shilfted
to Canada, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for free education system of their children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for better medical facilities.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
parents or children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
earlier and became permanent resident of that union.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
they would like to reside with their family members;
therefore
family members
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
migrate to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, even no job available respective to their fields.
Moreover
, Overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
Consider using a past participle here: "provided".
provide
job, which
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
has
highly
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "amounted".
amount
of pay. Therefor,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
attracted towards in
Possible spelling mistake found.
enthusiatic
manner.

To conclude
that, There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities, which provided by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
unions.
Thus
, citizens more
Possible spelling mistake found.
likly
to do migration
Possible spelling mistake found.
dispite
self
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
unemployeement
difficulty.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Improve
number of facilities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
taxes on daily life accommodation,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
their community.
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IELTS essay Some developed countries now have unemployment problems. why do people still want to immigrate to these countries

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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