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The charts below show UK and USA energy comsumption in 2000 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The charts below show UK and USA energy comsumption in 2000 and 2006.
As the time passed by, studying at tertiary colleges has been increased dramatically. Some people, believe that this as a positive impact in the society. However, few think that the increase in students in universities is affecting the standard of schooling. Both have their pros and cons which are demystified below. This has been a positive impact for both the individuals and the community for those who are studying at universities. First of all, each one could pursue the career in the fields they dreamt of and are fascinated about. For Instance, Psychology, engineering, medicine etc. Moreover, people get good opportunities in terms of jobs, because the corporate world and the medical societies hire more applicants with higher qualification and are paid well and thus allow those people to lead a higher quality of life. This helps to raise the standard of living in the society through economic development. Nevertheless, the increased growth of students in tertiary colleges has some demerits as well. A growth in students leads to large classes and thus teachers become often busy to provide attention to their students. In some cases, this could affect the quality of education. Furthermore, Studying in universities is a bit costly, few families might not afford the education of their children. For example, the semester fee of Engineering is $30, 000 at-the University of the Castle, which becomes a burden to their families. To recapitulate, educations at universities provide a significant and positive step in a person's life. Therefore, it should be available for everyone. However, tertiary colleges should ensure the quality of study, they provide to students is not compromised by the growth.
As the time passed by, studying at tertiary colleges has
been increased
dramatically
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, believe that this as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact in the society.
However
, few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
is affecting the standard of schooling. Both have their pros and cons which
are demystified
below.

This has been a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact for both the individuals and the community for those who are studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, each one could pursue the career in the fields they dreamt of and
are fascinated
about.
For Instance
, Psychology, engineering, medicine etc.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunities in terms of jobs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the corporate world and the medical societies hire more applicants with higher qualification and
are paid
well and
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to lead a higher quality of life. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to raise the standard of living in the society through economic development.

Nevertheless
, the increased growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in tertiary colleges has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits
as well
. A growth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
leads to large classes and
thus
teachers become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
busy to provide attention to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, this could affect the quality of education.
Furthermore
, Studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
is a bit costly, few families might not afford the education of their children.
For example
, the semester fee of Engineering is $30, 000 at-the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of the Castle, which becomes a burden to their families.

To recapitulate, educations at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
provide a significant and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
step in a person's life.
Therefore
, it should be available for everyone.
However
, tertiary colleges should ensure the quality of study, they provide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is not compromised by the growth.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The charts below show UK and USA energy comsumption in 2000 and 2006.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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