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The charts below show the percentage of men and women in different weight groups in England between 1993 and 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The charts below show the percentage of men and women in different weight groups in England between 1993 and 2002.
It is often considered by some that, money savings are a good practice when compared to spending every now and then. However, in my opinion, excessive spending's for unnecessary things make the situation worse not only in the future but also present. At once, money saving behaviour would likely to have prosperous life now and in the forthcoming years and probably for the next generations. To begin with, it is good to have some money for the future usage or for the unexpected crisis in day to day life. In brief, people who had an interest to save money may help them to cope with the stressful situations in life like emergency medical care, retired life usages, and for the sake of children. To illustrate in my life, during my college days, most of the inflating tuition fee payment made by the savings of my father when he was young. Moreover, saving money in terms of insurance, health policies, would help the people to be more relaxed and volatile free life in order to arising dilemma in the future. Saving money may help the investors get interest for the saved money that would be more beneficial and helpful in some extent. For instance, retired couples from my family explain that, their daily needs may fulfilled by the interest which they got from the fixed saving deposits of one bank. On the other hand, people who spend huge amounts of money for the daily needs and enjoyments would have a deleterious impact on their life. In other words, even the future life is not predictable, many people suffering from the financial dilemma in some stages of life. Shopping craze and spending money for unsound lifestyle may lead fail to joint the two edges of life in later life. For instance, many students would have struggled for study materials and resources by the reckless expenditure of their parents. It is a true phenomenon that, people who lived a life irrespective of saved money would face many challenges in the future by the influence of global financial crisis or inflation. To sum up, some daily spending is essential, nevertheless, lack of saving may lead to detrimental effect in the near future. Thereby, it is better to have some earnings to be saved in secured area an that would help the people to surpass crisis and overcome the issues independently.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
considered by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
savings
are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
practice when compared to spending every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and then.
However
, in my opinion, excessive spending's for unnecessary things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the situation worse not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
present. At once,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
would likely to have prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and in the forthcoming years and
probably
for the
next
generations.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
usage or for the unexpected crisis in day to day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
In brief
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who had an interest to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to cope with the stressful situations in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
like emergency medical care, retired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
usages, and for the sake of children. To illustrate in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, during my college days, most of the inflating tuition fee payment made by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
savings
of my father when he was young.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in terms of insurance, health policies, would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be more relaxed and volatile free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in order to
Did you mean "arise"?
arising
dilemma in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the investors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
interest for the saved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that would be more beneficial and helpful in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
For instance
, retired couples from my family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
that, their daily needs may fulfilled by the interest which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
deposits of one bank.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who spend huge amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the daily needs and enjoyments would have a deleterious impact on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
In other words
, even the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is not predictable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffering from the financial dilemma in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Shopping craze and spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for unsound lifestyle may lead fail to joint the two edges of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students would have struggled for study materials and resources by the reckless expenditure of their parents. It is a true phenomenon that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
irrespective of saved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
would face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
challenges in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
by the influence of global financial crisis or inflation.

To sum up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
daily spending is essential,
nevertheless
, lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
may lead to detrimental effect in the near
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. Thereby, it is better to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
earnings to
be saved
in secured area
Possible typo. Did you mean "and that"?
an that
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to surpass crisis and overcome the issues
independently
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay The charts below show the percentage of men and women in different weight groups in England between 1993 and 2002.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
396 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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