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It is more important for universities to invest in infrastructure and physical plant than to invest in keeping the faculty satisfied. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

It is more important for universities to invest in infrastructure and physical plant than to invest in keeping the faculty satisfied. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Obesity is an epidemic that threatens the existence of mankind. In developed nations, the number of children falling prey to fatness is rising every day. This essay will discuss the causes of chubbiness among children and its effects. In the world today, everybody is rushing towards their individual goals and nobody has time for anyone in their busy lives. The situation is such that parents have no time to cook and this forces their children to switch to unhealthy food habits, particularly junk food. Excessive consumption of calorie rich foods increases the risk of bulk among children. For example, in 2019, school children accounted for a whopping 46% of the customer share of McDonald’s. The increasing plumpness amongst children has led to a rise in cases of heart-related ailments and respiratory diseases and this is an alarming trend. Furthermore, with a decline in the culture of outdoor sports, children are bound to stay at home and not indulge in any physical activity. This lack of exercise has largely contributed to obesity amongst children and is increasing day by day. For instance, in a survey conducted by the Australian Bureau of Statistics, 62% of children preferred to play video games instead of any outdoor games. That is surely a very upsetting statistic. This has resulted in the rise of a generation that is not only lazy and obese, but also lethargic and unhealthy. In a nut-shell, this essay discussed the causes of rising obesity amongst children of developed countries and also discussed the associated effects of this trend. Indeed, unhealthy food habits and the absence of physical activity in one’s schedule are the two main factors contributing to the rise in this epidemic called obesity. This further paves the way for heart and respiratory diseases and a generation lacking vigour.
Obesity is an epidemic that threatens the existence of mankind. In developed nations, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
falling prey to fatness is rising every day. This essay will discuss the causes of chubbiness among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and its effects.

In the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, everybody is rushing towards their individual goals and nobody has time for anyone in their busy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. The situation is such that parents have no time to cook and this forces their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to switch to unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
habits,
particularly
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Excessive consumption of calorie rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
increases the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of bulk among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
, in 2019, school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
accounted for a whopping 46% of the customer share of McDonald’s. The increasing plumpness
Do not mix variants of the same word ('amongst' and 'among') within a single text.
amongst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
has led to a rise in cases of heart-related ailments and respiratory diseases and this is an alarming trend.

Furthermore
, with a decline in the culture of outdoor sports,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are bound
to stay at home and not indulge in any physical activity. This lack of exercise has
largely
contributed to obesity
Do not mix variants of the same word ('amongst' and 'among') within a single text.
amongst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and is increasing day by day.
For instance
, in a survey conducted by the Australian Bureau of Statistics, 62% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
preferred to play video games
instead
of any outdoor games.
That is
surely
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
upsetting statistic. This has resulted in the rise of a generation
that is
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
lazy and obese,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
lethargic and unhealthy.

In a nut-shell, this essay discussed the causes of rising obesity
Do not mix variants of the same word ('amongst' and 'among') within a single text.
amongst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
and
also
discussed the associated effects of this trend.
Indeed
, unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
habits and the absence of physical activity in one’s schedule are the two main factors contributing to the rise in this epidemic called obesity. This
further
paves the way for heart and respiratory diseases and a generation lacking
Possible spelling mistake found.
vigour
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay It is more important for universities to invest in infrastructure and physical plant than to invest in keeping the faculty satisfied. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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