Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

the charts below changes in the proportion of the energy produced from different resources in a country in 1985 and 2003 v.1

the charts below changes in the proportion of the energy produced from different resources in a country in 1985 and 2003 v. 1
Many people consider news to be a vital part of their routine. The primary function of the news is to help people keep abreast with the world events and current affairs. This essay will discuss the importance of news to the general public, secondly, why majority of the focus is on the bad news and lastly, highlight the importance of spreading good news content. On the one hand, people should rely on the news to keep themselves updated with latest events as somehow the general population is affected by it. Information passed on by the broadcasters has an influence on the decisions we take, whether it is voting for a political candidate or tracking economic situation for investment purposes. For example, as per the recent statistics, 90% of the political parties in the UK, use media coverage to reach out to the potential voters. On the other hand, there has been a marked increase in bad news being reported across many news channels and other media options like print and online. The human mind is conditioned to process negative sentiments for a longer duration than positive ones. As negative news attracts more eyeballs, media houses tend to concentrate and report more on this topic in order to increase their revenue and grow viewers. People should be made more aware of their need for sensational news and taught on how to curb it. Lastly, in my opinion, I believe that broadcasters should focus on news that inspires people. Hearing more about positive developments will motivate people and give them a better view of the society. For example, recent coverage of the successful joint rescue operation by the army and public during UK floods, left a deep impact on the masses. As a result of this, youngsters enrolled for army increased by 20% compared to the previous year. In conclusion, people should be informed about the latest happenings around the world, whether it is good or bad news. Whenever possible, editors should strive to maintain for a balance between negative and neutral or positive news.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
to be a vital part of their routine. The primary function of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
abreast with the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
affairs. This essay will discuss the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
to the
Consider using "public".
general public
,
secondly
, why
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the focus is on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and
lastly
, highlight the importance of spreading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
content.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should rely on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves updated with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
as somehow the general population is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by it. Information passed on by the broadcasters has an influence on the decisions we take, whether it is voting for a political candidate or tracking economic situation for investment purposes.
For example
, as per the recent statistics, 90% of the political parties in the UK,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
media coverage to reach out to the potential voters.

On the other hand
, there has been a marked increase in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
being reported
across
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channels and other media options like print and online. The human mind
is conditioned
to process
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sentiments for a longer duration than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
ones. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
attracts more eyeballs, media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
tend to concentrate and report more on this topic in order to increase their revenue and grow viewers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should
be made
more aware of their need for sensational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and taught on how to curb it.

Lastly
, in my opinion, I believe that broadcasters should focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
that inspires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Hearing more about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
developments will motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and give them a better view of the society.
For example
, recent coverage of the successful joint rescue operation by the army and public during UK floods,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
a deep impact on the masses.
As a result
of this, youngsters enrolled for army increased by 20% compared to the previous year.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be informed
about the latest happenings around the world, whether it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. Whenever possible, editors should strive to maintain for a balance between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and neutral or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay the charts below changes in the proportion of the energy produced from different resources in a country in 1985 and 2003 v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
343 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts