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The pie charts below show the proportion of energy produced by different sources in one country in 1985 and 2003. v.1

The pie charts below show the proportion of energy produced by different sources in one country in 1985 and 2003. v. 1
Paying taxes is the responsibility of each citizen of a country. People have different approaches towards contributing to the society. Some assume that paying taxes is sufficient, whereas others contradict that we should do more than just paying taxes. This essay will discuss both views to give an opinion. Firstly, some people believe that by paying taxes they will contribute towards the development of the nation and it will be used by the government to develop health-care and educational institutes for their citizens which will be used to help people who are in need. For instance, many developed countries provide free education and medical facilities for the needy from the taxes paid by the people of the country. So some think that, by paying taxes they have contributed more to the development of the nation. On the other hand, some people believe that they have more social responsibilities than just paying taxes. Some of them are by donating to government relief funds at the time of crisis or any health pandemic to help the country recover from the loss. For example, in some countries during crisis, many people contributed to the prime minister's relief fund which was used by the government to provide shelter and food for the people stranded in isolated places. Some people believe that, we should have more responsibilities towards the development of our society. To conclude, paying taxes is the duty of every responsible citizen. In my opinion, I strongly believe that people should have more social responsibility towards their society than just paying taxes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of each citizen of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
approaches towards contributing to the society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
assume that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
is sufficient, whereas others contradict that we should do more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
. This essay will discuss both views to give an opinion.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
they will contribute towards the development of the nation and it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to develop health-care and educational institutes for their citizens which will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are in need.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
provide free education and medical facilities for the needy from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
paid by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
they have contributed more to the development of the nation.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that they have more social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them are by donating to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
relief funds at the time of crisis or any health pandemic to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
recover from the loss.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
during crisis,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
contributed to the prime minister's relief fund which was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to provide shelter and food for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stranded in isolated places.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that, we should have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
towards the development of our society.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
is the duty of every responsible citizen. In my opinion, I
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should have more social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
towards their society than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The pie charts below show the proportion of energy produced by different sources in one country in 1985 and 2003. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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