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The chart below shows the total number of (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995 to 2002. v.1

The chart below shows the total number of (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995 to 2002. v. 1
There are certain people who think, that it is necessary to add physical discipline classes, as one of the subjects for each school children. However, there is also another side to this. We can also find some people, who are more focused towards academic subjects. In my opinion, it is important to include both for a total balanced future. Let us discuss further on both viewpoints below. Firstly, we should discuss about the importance of physical education. It is vital for the proper nourishment of children, that we should tell our kids to be physically active. For instance, a recent report by the Delhi government suggests, that those children who were active in sports scored good in school. Also, it's scientifically proven that through sports we can improve our concentration levels. Thus, it is a necessity that we should have such curriculum at school. Next, some parents are very strict. They consider that only through academics, a child can grow properly. They are not completely at fault. For example, if a child is only playing all day, then he will get tired and he will not be able to devote time to study. So, it is wiser to make a balance between the both. To conclude, as I said earlier, it is of utmost importance that parents should encourage their children, for signing up for physical education classes. Moreover, a child can develop fully when he is enjoying both. Furthermore, the science also tells us that our brain needs oxygen to work more efficiently and physical education provides such necessary air into the brain.
There are certain
people
who
think
, that it is necessary to
add
physical
discipline classes, as one of the subjects for each school
children
.
However
, there is
also
another side to this. We can
also
find
some
people
, who are more focused towards academic subjects. In my opinion, it is
important
to include both for a total balanced future.
Let
us discuss
further
on both viewpoints below.

Firstly
, we should
discuss about the
importance of
physical
education. It is vital for the proper nourishment of
children
, that we should
tell
our kids to be
physically
active.
For instance
, a recent report by the Delhi
government
suggests, that those
children
who were active in sports scored
good
in school.
Also
, it's
scientifically
proven that through sports we can
improve
our concentration levels.
Thus
, it is a necessity that we should have such curriculum at school.

Next
,
some
parents are
very
strict. They consider that
only
through academics, a child can grow
properly
. They are not completely at fault.
For example
, if a child is
only
playing all day, then he will
get
tired and
he will not be able to devote time to study.
So
, it is wiser to
make
a balance between the both.

To conclude
, as I said earlier, it is of utmost importance that parents should encourage their
children
, for signing up for
physical
education classes.
Moreover
, a child can develop
fully
when he is enjoying both.
Furthermore
, the science
also
tells
us that our brain needs oxygen to work more
efficiently
and
physical
education provides such necessary air into the brain.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The chart below shows the total number of (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995 to 2002. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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