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The chart below shows the number of jobs in tourism related industries in one UK citiy between 1989 and 2009 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant v.1

The chart below shows the number of jobs in tourism related industries in one UK citiy between 1989 and 2009
Some schools of thoughts assert that working for a society without any sake of personal benefits should be added into the high school curriculum. I completely agree with the statement, because those sort of activities make a child healthy, rational thinker, and well aware about a community. To begin with, the volunteer activities at the school level to enhance one's ability to work effectively in a group. Furthermore, it makes children more confident in front of the world and mould them to become a good leader. The non-paid service for humans increase empathy in students, which plays an indispensable role in their career, they think positively about for their neighbours and even for any person of the world. For instance, if a person collects an amount just for the sake to help mankind, it will provide him a better satisfaction. According to the Harvard research department, spending so one's time for good purposes, feeling them a healthy experience and increase their life span. Moreover, to teach sports to the younger children provides you to learn about the diversity of behaviours and explore your capability to overcome on a difficult situation. For example, a child is playing a game and that moment someone realize that it plays exceptionally, then this prediction might be transformed him to become an eminent athlete. In conclusion, the introduction of non-paid work as a syllabus of children have a multitude of benefits on a nation. In this epoch, it is mandatory for a student to do volunteer activity in order to obtain a professional profile.
Some
schools of thoughts assert that working for a society without any sake of personal benefits should be
added
into the high school curriculum. I completely
agree
with the statement,
because
those sort
of activities
make
a child healthy, rational thinker, and well aware about a community.

To
begin
with, the volunteer activities at the school level to enhance one's ability to work
effectively
in a group.
Furthermore
, it
makes
children more confident in front of the world and
mould
them to become a
good
leader. The non-paid service for humans increase empathy in students, which plays an indispensable role in their career, they
think
positively
about for their
neighbours
and even for any person of the world.
For instance
, if a person collects an amount
just
for the sake to
help
mankind, it will provide him a better satisfaction. According to the Harvard research department, spending
so
one's time for
good
purposes, feeling them a healthy experience and increase their life span.

Moreover
, to teach sports to the younger children provides you to learn about the diversity of
behaviours
and explore your capability to overcome on a difficult situation.

For example
, a child is playing a game and that moment someone
realize
that it plays
exceptionally
, then this prediction might
be transformed
him to become an eminent athlete.

In conclusion
, the introduction of non-paid work as a syllabus of children have a multitude of benefits on a nation. In this epoch, it is mandatory for a student to do volunteer activity in order to obtain a professional profile.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The chart below shows the number of jobs in tourism related industries in one UK citiy between 1989 and 2009

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
259 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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