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The chart below give the information about global population percentages and distribution of global wealth by region Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and makes comparison where relevant v.1

The chart below give the information about global population percentages and distribution of global wealth by region
Life has indeed changed how the humanity works and operates. Many people believe that it is better to live in the current life rather than a century ago. In my opinion, I totally agree with the statement, due to the rise in technology and world trade, which will be discussed further in the essay below. Nowadays, due to the advance in technology, communication is definitely easier than 100 years ago. With the help of the internet, the society is now able to connect with one another easily, regardless of the location or time differences. Online applications such as Facebook, Skype and Twitter enable humanity to do virtual face-to-face interaction straightforwardly in around the world. In 2015, 'The NYT' magazine discovered that online users have increased to 1, 000% compared to a half century ago, as people enjoy the numerous benefits through the internet. Therefore, technology allows the community to communicate easily in comparison to a century ago. In addition, international trades enable the society to get a variety of spices and foods from around the world within a walking distance. These days, people are able to purchase global meals and beverages, in a proper packaging and safety, through the supermarket or online shops easily. For instance, within the last 20 years, Australia's largest supermarket named Woolworths, have offered more than 50, 000 of international condiments and snacks in their 30, 000 stores. Hence, the rise in global trades have allowed the community to get a plethora of meals and spices across all countries straightforwardly. To conclude, the current life is indeed better than 100 years ago. In my opinion, the advance of technology and the increase of international trades contribute to the beautiful life that we are currently living now.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
has
indeed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
how the humanity works and operates.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
rather
than a century ago. In my opinion, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement, due to the rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trade
, which will
be discussed
further
in the essay below.

Nowadays, due to the advance in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, communication is definitely easier than 100 years ago. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the internet, the society is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
able to connect with one another
easily
, regardless of the location or time differences. Online applications such as Facebook, Skype and Twitter enable humanity to do virtual face-to-face interaction
straightforwardly
in around the world. In 2015, 'The NYT' magazine discovered that online users have increased to 1, 000% compared to a half century ago, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
enjoy the numerous benefits through the internet.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the community to communicate
easily
in comparison
to a century ago.

In addition
, international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trades
enable the society to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a variety of spices and foods from around the world within a walking distance. These days,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
global meals and beverages, in a proper packaging and safety, through the supermarket or online shops
easily
.
For instance
, within the last 20 years, Australia's largest supermarket named
Possible spelling mistake found.
Woolworths
, have offered more than 50, 000 of international condiments and snacks in their 30, 000 stores.
Hence
, the rise in global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trades
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
the community to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a plethora of meals and spices across all countries
straightforwardly
.

To conclude
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
indeed
better than 100 years ago. In my opinion, the advance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and the increase of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trades
contribute to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
that we are
currently
living
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The chart below give the information about global population percentages and distribution of global wealth by region

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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