Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The chart below gives information about the UK's ageing population in 1985 and makes predictions for 2035. v.1

The chart below gives information about the UK's ageing population in 1985 and makes predictions for 2035. v. 1
People's views differ as museums should be concerned as places for citizens and tourists to have a blast or for individuals to discover more about the culture or history of localities. While educating the civilizations through museums is crucial, I stand by the idea that museums' should be a source of entertainment. On the one hand, one of the reasons museums are needed for educational purposes is that they can work as live presentations. As various subjects at school related to History and Art have been read by many students but not every person is capable of remembering such long theoretical texts. By visiting such practical places, students are able to acknowledge the aspect of that subject more explicitly. Besides, not only museums support students' knowledge, but they also teach visitors something that they did not previously know as they exhibit collections of interesting objects that hold significant cultural or historical values. It means that the history behind the museum's exhibits needs to be explained by professional guides talking to their visitors or offering headsets to visitors so that they can listen to detailed commentary about the exhibition. On the other hand, I would argue that museums should be entertaining and more attractive to the public. Museums are widely considered as important tourist attractions for any city or country. However, there is a common belief that they are too boring, uninspiring, and only encourage educated people to visit. By adding more entertainment values, museums can become more appealing to a broader audience. Nowadays, there is a wide range of museums that do not have many academic purposes but have a more humorous theme to amuse tourists and citizens around the world. For instance, the Chocolate Museum in Belgium is where many people could not only watch chocolate being made but could also have a taste of many different types of chocolate. Or the Cheese Museum in The Netherlands, where people could taste the different varieties of traditional Dutch Gouda cheese or dress up as Dutch farmers and take a picture for free. These kinds of museums would attract more tourists and give more benefits to the country's economy. In conclusion, while museums are usually used to provide educational information, I believe that it should be entertaining to increase the influence on the public and to support the economy.
People
's views differ as
museums
should
be concerned
as places for citizens and
tourists
to have a blast or for individuals to discover more about the culture or history of localities. While educating the civilizations through
museums
is crucial, I stand by the
idea
that museums' should be a source of entertainment.

On the one hand, one of the reasons
museums
are needed
for educational purposes is that they can work as
live
presentations. As various subjects at school related to History and Art have
been read
by
many
students
but
not every person is capable of remembering such long theoretical texts. By visiting such practical places, students are able to acknowledge the aspect of that subject more
explicitly
.
Besides
, not
only
museums
support students' knowledge,
but
they
also
teach visitors something that they did not previously know as they exhibit collections of interesting objects that hold significant cultural or historical values. It means that the history behind the museum's exhibits needs to be
explained
by professional guides talking to their visitors or offering headsets to visitors
so
that they can listen to detailed commentary about the exhibition.

On the other hand
, I would argue that
museums
should be entertaining and more attractive to the public.
Museums
are
widely
considered as
important
tourist
attractions for any city or country.
However
, there is a common belief that they are too boring, uninspiring, and
only
encourage educated
people
to visit. By adding more entertainment values,
museums
can become more appealing to a broader audience. Nowadays, there is a wide range of
museums
that do not have
many
academic purposes
but
have a more humorous theme to amuse
tourists
and citizens around the world.
For instance
, the Chocolate
Museum
in Belgium is where
many
people
could not
only
watch
chocolate
being made
but
could
also
have a taste of
many
different
types of chocolate. Or the Cheese
Museum
in The Netherlands, where
people
could taste the
different
varieties of traditional Dutch Gouda cheese or dress up as Dutch farmers and take a picture for free. These kinds of
museums
would attract more
tourists
and give more benefits to the country's economy.

In conclusion
, while
museums
are
usually
used
to provide educational information, I believe that it should be entertaining to increase the influence on the public and to support the economy.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The chart below gives information about the UK's ageing population in 1985 and makes predictions for 2035. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
388 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts