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THE CAUSES OF VIOLENCE AMONG PLAYERS IN SPORTS

THE CAUSES OF VIOLENCE AMONG PLAYERS IN SPORTS 95PX7
Unfortunately, violence is a part of sports and will be a part of them in the future too. In addition, there are just a few kinds of sports which do not include any types of violence. Violence among players in sports stems from a strategy for victory, expression of players’ frustration, and acceptance of violence in some kinds of sports. The first reason for violence among players in sports is that it is a strategy for victory. In some kinds of sports such as basketball or football, doing hard fouls to the opponent team’s best player is a tactic for victory. Moreover, I have seen some players who injured the opponent team’s players intentionally in order to win the game. Another reason for violence among players in sports is that violence is an expression of players’ frustration. Players can get frustrated in some kinds of sports which include physical contact among players. In these cases, some players express their anger by doing violence or doing hard foul on another player. Another contributory factor to violence among players in sports is that violence is acceptable in some kinds of sports. In some kinds of sports such as American football, violence is acceptable; furthermore, it is the nature of that sports. Also, violence is a part of these kinds of sports, and it will be a part of them in the future too. To sum up, violence among players in sports result from a strategy for victory, expression of players’ frustration, and acceptance of violence in some kinds of sports. In addition, I hope that the number of players doing violence to other players will decrease in the future.
Unfortunately,
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violence
is a
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part
of
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sports
and will be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of them in the future too.
In addition
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few
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kinds
of
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sports
which do not include any types of
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violence
.
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Violence
among
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players
in
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sports
stems from a strategy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
victory
, expression of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players’
frustration, and acceptance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of sports.

The
first
reason for
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violence
among
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players
in
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sports
is that it is a strategy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
victory
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as basketball or football,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
fouls to the opponent team’s best
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player
is a tactic for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
victory
.
Moreover
, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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players
who injured the opponent team’s
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players
intentionally
in order to win the game.

Another reason for
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violence
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is that
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violence
is an expression of
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players’
frustration.
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Players
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
frustrated in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which include physical contact among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
. In these cases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
express their anger by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
or
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doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
foul on another player.

Another contributory factor to
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violence
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
is acceptable in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as American football,
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violence
is acceptable;
furthermore
, it is the nature of that
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sports
.
Also
,
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violence
is a
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part
of these
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kinds
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, and it will be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of them in the future too.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
result from a strategy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
victory
, expression of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players’
frustration, and acceptance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
In addition
, I hope that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
will decrease in the future.
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IELTS essay THE CAUSES OF VIOLENCE AMONG PLAYERS IN SPORTS

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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