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The causes and effects of high numbers of population?

The causes and effects of high numbers of population? rBBN
One of the most popular problems in the world is the high percentage of population. As any problem there are many cusses and effects for high numbers of people in each country. There are many causes which increase from numbers of population in the world. Firstly, lack of spacing between births, this lead to rise the listing of children in each country in same society. Then, the early marriage support this problem too. For example, when the people get married early this will maximize the percentages of births then the number population rise due to this increase. Third reason, is the richness such as, when the father has suitable salary to provide every-things for family, this make parents do not care of the number of family is big or not. On same time, there are a lot of effects that occur because of high percentage of population. Firstly, common influence of the problem is unemployment. the country can not find a job for each person who are in close ages. Then there will be no balance in country economy which leads to generalize the poorness between citizens. Moreover, the crowding will be everywhere that could be through cars, factories and many other risky materials in environment which all over the rate of population. In conclusion, the high population in the world is a big problem, which happens because of many reasons and leads to many influences whether for people or environment. Therefore, my recommendation is to maximize the spacing between births through advices or adding the subject importance to curriculums of education.
One of the most popular
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problems
in the world is the
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high
percentage of
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population
. As any
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problem
there are
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many
cusses and effects for
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high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in each country.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
causes which increase from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in the world.
Firstly
, lack of spacing between births, this lead to rise the listing of children in each country in same society. Then, the early marriage support this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
too.
For example
, when the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married early this will maximize the percentages of births then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
rise due to this increase. Third reason, is the richness such as, when the father has suitable salary to provide every-things for family, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
parents do not care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of family is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
or not.

On same time, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
effects that occur
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
.
Firstly
, common influence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is unemployment.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
country can not find a job for each person who are in close ages. Then there will be no balance in country economy which leads to generalize the poorness between citizens.
Moreover
, the crowding will be everywhere that could be through cars, factories and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other risky materials in environment which all over the rate of population.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in the world is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, which happens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons and leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
influences whether for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
or environment.
Therefore
, my recommendation is to maximize the spacing between births through advices or adding the subject importance to curriculums of education.
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IELTS essay The causes and effects of high numbers of population?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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