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Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. nkk7
Every people have different views about the best way to get a good job. Some people think that accomplishing university education is the best way. Otherwise, other people think that obtaining experience is more essential. I agree to both sides, because both of them are important. There are three reasons why completing university education is crucial to get a good job. Firstly, finishing university education gives collage students a degree that help them for getting a good job. Usually, a company would search for a person with a degree, because a degree can show that he/she have the specialized knowledge or technical skills. Higher degree also lead company to give higher salaries. Secondly, the person could get more knowledge and theories about their job field. For example, a person who study business at collage could have more knowledge about business when they work later. Lastly, the universities reputation matters. People who join good universities are claim that they have been teach well, so that is one of the company consideration. Yet, getting experience and developing soft skills are also as important as completing university studies. There are also three reasons why getting experience is also necessary. Firstly, a person can feel how it is like to work. Different from getting education, a person could get to work faster by gaining experience. Next, less money are needed. Gaining experience by working only need resumes or CV, but having education demand more money. For example, a person going for an education needs thousand of dollars, meanwhile a person who immediately work do not need to pay money. Finally, working with other people could help build self-confidence, because they often need to interact with other people. In conclusion, accomplishing university studies is crucial for getting a good job, but getting experience is fairly essential.
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular. Did you mean "all"?
Every
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people
have
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different
views about the best way to
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get
a
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good
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job
.
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Some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that accomplishing
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university
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education
is the best way.
Otherwise
, other
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that obtaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is more essential. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to both sides,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both of them are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

There are three reasons why completing
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university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is crucial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Firstly
, finishing
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university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
gives collage students a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them for getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Usually
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
would search for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that he/she have the specialized knowledge or technical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
also
lead
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to give higher salaries.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more knowledge and theories about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
field.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who study business at collage could have more knowledge about business when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
later.
Lastly
, the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "universities'" or "university's"?
universities
reputation matters.
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People
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
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good
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universities
are claim that they have been
Consider using a past participle here: "taught".
teach
well,
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so
that is
one of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
consideration.

Yet
, getting
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experience
and developing soft
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skills
are
also
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as completing
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university
studies. There are
also
three reasons why getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is
also
necessary.
Firstly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can feel how it is like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
from getting
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education
, a
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person
could
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get
to
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work
faster by gaining
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experience
.
Next
, less money
are needed
. Gaining
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experience
by working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
resumes or CV,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
demand more money.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
going for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
Use "a thousand" or use a number before 'thousand'.
thousand
of dollars, meanwhile a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who immediately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to pay money.
Finally
, working with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
build self-confidence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to interact with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, accomplishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
studies is crucial for getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is
fairly
essential.
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IELTS essay Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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