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the cause of why even though, every person has the same value and should not be judged by anyone, nowadays the reality is different, a person’s worth is now judged based on their social status and material possessions.

the cause of why even though, every person has the same value and should not be judged by anyone, nowadays the reality is different, a person’s worth is now judged based on their social status and material possessions. OM9rN
In this essay I will analyze the cause of why even though, every person has the same value and should not be judged by anyone, nowadays the reality is different, a person’s worth is now judged based on their social status and material possessions. Definitely this is completely true, even though I do not agree with this or consider it important, many people do. I know it because I have had friends and people I know who have said spiteful and unfair comments about someone based on their social status, and even because of the clothes they were wearing, how they live, etc. Personally, I considered more important the fact that someone is kind, respectful, trustful, grateful, and many other old-fashioned values rather than someone with a high social status and material belongings. But why do I think like this? This answer is apparently pretty easy but some people is not. I believe that no one should be judged based on the money they have, where they live or what school do they go to because many times they don’t have the opportunity to enhance those aspects of their life. But what they can decide to develop is how they are, how they treat people, how they help them, not only with their family and friends but everybody. This is considered as discrimination and we should not allow this to happen! It is important to let everyone know that this is not okay. When you hear a friend or family member speak like this about any person, talk to them and let them know what they are doing.
In this essay I will analyze the cause of why
even though
, every person has the same value and should not
be judged
by anyone, nowadays the reality is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
, a person’s worth is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
judged based on their social status and material possessions.

Definitely this is completely true,
even though
I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this or consider it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do.

I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I have had friends and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
who have said spiteful and unfair comments about someone based on their social status, and even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the clothes they were wearing, how they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, etc.

Personally
, I considered more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
the fact that someone is kind, respectful, trustful, grateful, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned values
rather
than someone with a high social status and material belongings.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
why do I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
like this? This answer is
apparently
pretty easy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
not. I believe that no one should
be judged
based on the money they have, where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
or what school do they go to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times they don’t have the opportunity to enhance those aspects of their life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
what they can decide to develop is how they are, how they treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, how they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with their family and friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
everybody.

This
is considered
as
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
discrimination and
we should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
this to happen! It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
that this is not okay.

When you hear a friend or family member speak like this about any person, talk to them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
what they are doing.
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IELTS essay the cause of why even though, every person has the same value and should not be judged by anyone, nowadays the reality is different, a person’s worth is now judged based on their social status and material possessions.

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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