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the cause of why even though art is considered important for all cultures around the world, nowadays science, technology and business are appraised more important

the cause of why even though art is considered important for all cultures around the world, nowadays science, technology and business are appraised more important YBR2d
In this essay I will analyse the cause of why even though art is considered important for all cultures around the world, nowadays science, technology and business are appraised more important. Additionally, I am going to mention some strategies or things we can do to draw people’s attention to art. Definitely, technology nowadays serves a variety of purposes, it can be found at every corner and devices such as smartphones and computers are now part of our daily life. It has affected the way individuals communicate, learn, and think. Along with technology, science and business importance and recognition has increased. While art, which is all around the world, has been proven to show our living standard, culture, tradition and history. As we can see, due to the importance that science and business has achieved, it seems that art is not important anymore but the reality is that art is still indispensable to these days. I already mentioned that technology has affected the way individuals communicate, learn, and think, therefore it has also changed the way we see and appreciate art and other areas, such as science, and business. For example, currently young people such as teengaers are more likely to appreciate art through platforms such as TikTok, Instagram or Twitter rather than going to a museum, dance presentation, role plays, etc. In conclusion, for art to be considered more and more important we can draw people’s attention by appreciating it, and showing its potential and create a balance between all the areas mentioned in this essay by not making any of them less. I consider art as important as the other fields because it is part of our identity as communities.
In this essay I will
analyse
the cause of why
even though
art
is considered
important
for all cultures around the world, nowadays
science
,
technology
and business
are appraised
more
important
.
Additionally
, I am going to mention
some
strategies or things we can do to draw
people
’s attention to art.

Definitely,
technology
nowadays serves a variety of purposes, it can
be found
at every corner and devices such as smartphones and computers are
now
part of our daily life. It has
affected
the way individuals communicate, learn, and
think
.

Along with
technology
,
science
and business importance and recognition has increased.

While
art
, which is all around the world, has
been proven
to
show
our living standard, culture, tradition and history.

As we can
see
, due to the importance that
science
and business has achieved, it seems that
art
is not
important
anymore
but
the reality is that
art
is
still
indispensable to these days.

I already mentioned that
technology
has
affected
the way individuals communicate, learn, and
think
,
therefore
it has
also
changed
the way we
see
and appreciate
art
and other areas, such as
science
, and business.

For example
,
currently
young
people
such as
teengaers
are more likely to appreciate
art
through platforms such as TikTok, Instagram or Twitter
rather
than going to a museum, dance presentation, role plays, etc.

In conclusion
, for
art
to
be considered
more and more
important
we can draw
people
’s attention by appreciating it, and showing its potential and create a balance between all the areas mentioned in this essay by not making any of them less. I consider
art
as
important
as the other fields
because
it is part of our identity as communities.
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IELTS essay the cause of why even though art is considered important for all cultures around the world, nowadays science, technology and business are appraised more important

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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