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should government spend a lot of money on sports facilities or government should spend a lot of money on curing facilities like hospitals, increasing wokrers pay

should government spend a lot of money on sports facilities or government should spend a lot of money on curing facilities like hospitals, increasing wokrers pay D6YVm
Health is wealth. It is a famous and old saying and we have heard this statement since our childhood. It means health is more important than wealth. A healthy person is more successful in his life because he can perform any task without any problem while a person who is not healthy cannot perform well in his life. Some people argue that government should spend money on preventing disease through providing the sports facilities and increasing the taxes on unhealthy foods, tobacco and alcohol while some individuals argue that government should spend more money on curing of disease through curing institutes, improving medical facilities and increasing the salaries of healthcare employees. While I believe that prevention is better than curing. So In this essay I will state the reasons for my views. A healthy person means he is healthy both physically and mentally. It is a secret of a healthy person. Good health brings happiness in our life. If a person is not healthy, he will depends on others to fulfill their requirements. So for maintaining good health, he must participate in healthy activities. If government provides a lots of sports facilities, he/she will engage himself/herself into these sports facilities and they can make themselves healthy. Daily exercise is also very important for good health. It enhances out blood circulation. Consequently, If government have provides gym facilities, people will gain benefits from these facilities. For instance, In my country, government provided a lots of sports facilities so, I also go in these playgrounds and make myself healthy. Government should also start a compaign on television and internet about the benefits of sports and exercise and also show the bad impacts of drugs and alcohols. While on the other hand If government will not spend a lot of money on sports facilities, people will not engage them in these facilities. And in the result they will not be healthy and they spend a lot of money on curing their health. In a nutshell, I would like to say that government should need to spend a lot of money of sports facilities and increase taxes on unhealthy food so that people gain benefits from these facilitites and make them safe and healthy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
is wealth. It is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
saying and
we have heard this statement since our childhood. It means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than wealth. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is more successful in his life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he can perform any task without any problem while a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
cannot perform well in his life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on preventing disease through providing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities and increasing the taxes on unhealthy foods, tobacco and alcohol while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on curing of disease through curing institutes, improving medical facilities and increasing the salaries of healthcare employees.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
I believe that prevention is better than curing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
In this essay I will state the reasons for my views.

A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
means he is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
both
physically
and mentally. It is a secret of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
brings happiness in our life. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
, he will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "depend"
depends
on others to fulfill their requirements.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
for maintaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
activities. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
provides a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities, he/she will engage himself/herself into these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
facilities and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
themselves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
. Daily exercise is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. It enhances out blood circulation.
Consequently
, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
have provides gym facilities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will gain benefits from these facilities.
For instance
, In my country,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
provided a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, I
also
go in these playgrounds and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
myself
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
compaign
on television and internet about the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and exercise and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impacts of drugs and alcohols.

While
on the other hand
If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not engage them in these facilities. And in the result they will not be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
healthy and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on curing their health.

In a nutshell, I would like to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities and increase taxes on unhealthy food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gain benefits from these
Possible spelling mistake found.
facilitites
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them safe and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
.
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IELTS essay should government spend a lot of money on sports facilities or government should spend a lot of money on curing facilities like hospitals, increasing wokrers pay

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
370 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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