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The bus was late so I decided to walk

The bus was late so I decided to walk aJLWo
The bus was late so I decided to walk, because I slept through the alarm and can’t reach to the bus stop in time. I took a walk and realized why so traffic today. Because today is the first day of school opening day and all the students are along the road. The view brought me back to my student hood and I remembered all my childhood friends. We all were absolutely delighted to meet each other on first day. Normally schools open in the rainy season and the environment around us made me recollected our golden days. Unlikely in the working environment, all are fiercely competitive and completely different old friends. Nevertheless, we have to struggle a lot to survive and support our family. Fighting! !
The bus was late
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I decided to walk,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I slept through the alarm and can’t reach to the bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
in time. I took a walk and realized why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is the
first
day of school opening day and all the students are along the road. The view brought me back to my student hood and I remembered all my childhood friends. We all were
absolutely
delighted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
each other on
first
day.
Normally
schools open in the rainy season and
Consider using "the surrounding environment".
the environment around us
made me recollected our golden days. Unlikely in the working environment, all are
fiercely
competitive and completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
friends.
Nevertheless
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
struggle a lot to survive and support our family. Fighting! !

IELTS essay The bus was late so I decided to walk

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
127 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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