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we can not help every one so we should help people who are live in own counrty

we can not help every one so we should help people who are live in own counrty MykeQ
A common opinion is that the philanthropic activity should be done voluntary without boundaries limitation and I do firmly agree with it. However, there is a view that people should have an obligation to help each other and just ought to aid to people who live in own countries. The argument in favor of people should pay more attention to their neighborhoods when they intend to do beneficiary works claim that people ought to donate clothes and money for their compatriot because it brings more advantage than help to other nations. in other word, they believe that the richer society, the safer place to live. It brings about thriving the well-fare and causes less poverty in community. Therefore, they encourage people to do voluntary work in their country for this reason that it impacts on security of society indirectly. At same time, I believe that not only the distribution of source is not equal in worldwide, but also some people who live in deprived area suffer from a great deal of problems. while other nations have access to a lot of facilities and accommodations. I think it is unfair that wealthy people refute help other nations because of boundaries of countries. Considering have compulsory banns limitation for voluntary actions can be have destructive effects generally. Apart from that, all creature in universe are attached to each other and philanthropic people provide a satisfactory feeling which has positive effect on their life and improve the humanities properties. For example, some charities like to aid African children who live in remote and poor regions in order to survive them for life-threatening disease. They dedicate special tips for support them and vaccinate in need children. In conclusion, although aid to in need people in our countries is necessary. It should not restrict to remove poverty in our boundaries.
A common opinion is that the philanthropic activity should
be done
voluntary without boundaries limitation and I do
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with it.
However
, there is a view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should have an obligation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
ought to aid to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
countries.

The argument in favor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should pay more attention to their neighborhoods when they intend to do beneficiary works claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ought to donate clothes and money for their compatriot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it brings more advantage than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
word, they believe that the richer society, the safer place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
. It brings about thriving the well-fare and causes less poverty in community.
Therefore
, they encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do voluntary work in their country
for this reason
that it impacts on security of society
indirectly
.

At same time, I believe that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the distribution of source is not equal in worldwide,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in deprived area suffer from a great deal of problems.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations have access to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
facilities and accommodations. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is unfair that wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
refute
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of boundaries of countries. Considering
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "has".
have
compulsory banns limitation for voluntary actions can be
Consider using the past participle "had"?
have
destructive effects
generally
. Apart from that, all creature in universe
are attached
to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and philanthropic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
provide a satisfactory feeling which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on their life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the humanities properties.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
charities like to aid African children who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in remote and poor regions in order to survive them for life-threatening disease. They dedicate special tips for support them and vaccinate in need children.

In conclusion
, although aid to in need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in our countries is necessary. It should not restrict to remove poverty in our boundaries.

IELTS essay we can not help every one so we should help people who are live in own counrty

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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