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The broad use of social media

In the last decade, the massive use of social media has altered our lives in terms of relationships, education, and business. Some people think that it has a lot of risks for us. However, others argue that social media has changed our world efficiently. In my opinion, it absolutely affects the whole world positively because of certain reasons such as faster communication, accessing information, and advertising. The first reason is that all people want to contact each other. Hence, if people utilize social media, they can access one another easily. For example, when people are depressed, they need to talk to someone and seek motivation or a source of morale. Therefore, these people get rid of depression or other mental problems in a short period of time through social media. Another example is that when people who are destitute live a crucial event such as health problem, they can shortly meet their needs by contacting people via social media. The second reason is that most people are curious and want to learn about something due to their curiosity. Social media can bring these people a click away from what they are curious about. Moreover, it facilitates the dissemination of any news or information rapidly. Any event which is happening in one part of the world can be seen by people at the same time throughout the globe. For example, when people go abroad, they can instantly find out what is going on there when there is an incident in their homeland. All they have to pay attention to is using the right source. The last reason is that advertising through social media. Nowadays, advertising via social media is increasing because of its advantages for business. Hence, people choose people who want to advertise on social media, not on posters anymore. Due to the fact that if people advertise on the internet, it will reach more people, more than half of the people who are in the global world use social media. In summary, the excessive usage of social media has influenced most people because of several situations. It helps us in the field of faster communication, accessing information and advertising. To my mind, social media has a significant role in our lives and we should take advantage of it.
In the last decade, the massive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has altered our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in terms of relationships, education, and business.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
for us.
However
, others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
efficiently
. In my opinion, it
absolutely
affects the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
positively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
such as faster communication, accessing information, and advertising.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to contact each other.
Hence
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
utilize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, they can access one another
easily
.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are depressed
, they need to talk to someone and seek motivation or a source of morale.
Therefore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of depression or other mental problems in a short period of time through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. Another example is that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are destitute
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a crucial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
such as health problem, they can shortly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their needs by contacting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media.

The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are curious and want to learn about something due to their curiosity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can bring these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a click away from what they are curious about.
Moreover
, it facilitates the dissemination of any news or information
rapidly
. Any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
which is happening in one part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at the same time throughout the globe.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go abroad, they can
instantly
find out what is going on there when there is an incident in their homeland. All they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay attention to is using the right source.

The last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that advertising through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. Nowadays, advertising via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is increasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its advantages for business.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to advertise on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, not on posters anymore. Due to the fact that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
advertise on the internet, it will reach more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, more than half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are in the global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media.

In summary, the excessive usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has influenced most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of several situations. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us in the field of faster communication, accessing information and advertising. To my mind,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has a significant role in our
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lives and
we should take advantage of it.
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IELTS essay The broad use of social media

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
379 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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