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Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some people say that the invention of computers is one of the greatest humankind's inventions. However, other people think that computers make their life more stressful. I agree with those people who think that computers brought many benefits and play a very important role in our modern life. First of all, every company nowadays uses a computer to store its data and make different kinds of operations. It is very difficult to imagine life without computers. A company would have to store millions of papers and documents. Moreover, a customer would have to wait hours to check his balance or get a piece of information about his transactions at his bank, while an employee was looking trough those papers. Another important aspect of this is that people are able to type all their information, make corrections, print or send documents using computers. It makes life much easier. One can spend the rest of the time watching TV with his family or working on something new. We use computers every day sometimes even not knowing it. When we go to a store and use our credit cards many computers process our information and perform transactions. When we need to get some cash we use money access machines that are computerized too. Second of all, computers provided a great means of communication - the Internet. I think it is the most easiest and cheapest way to get in touch with relatives, friends, business colleagues, etc. Nowadays the world becomes smaller and smaller. When I was a little girl, I could not imagine that it would be possible to communicate with people from all around the world in so easy way. A person can get latest news, become friends with someone from another country, find his old friends, ask for a piece of advice, etc. Finally, in addition to these practical benefits people can shopping without leaving their house. They just use an Internet access, a computer and their cards to make a payment. It is kind of difficult to imagine that a few years ago people had to spend their time in lines buying tickets. Now, a person can choose a destination, company, date and time and get tickets delivered to his door. I think it is amazing. To sum up, I believe that computers made our lives easier. They change our attitude towards life. I think with the invention of computers people became closer and friendlier.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that the invention of computers is one of the greatest humankind's inventions.
However
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that computers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more stressful. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that computers brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits and play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our modern life.

Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
, every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
a computer to store its data and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of operations. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to imagine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without computers. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
store millions of papers and documents.
Moreover
, a customer would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wait hours to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
his balance or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a piece of information about his transactions at his bank, while an employee was looking
Did you mean the preposition “through” (e.g. “walk through a door”)?
trough
those papers. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect of this is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to type all their information,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
corrections, print or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
documents using computers. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
much easier. One can spend the rest of the time watching TV with his family or working on something new.

We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers every day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even not knowing it. When we go to a store and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
our credit cards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
computers process our information and perform transactions.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
we need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cash we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
money access machines that
are computerized
too.

Second of all, computers provided a great means of communication
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
the Internet. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it is the
Use only “easiest” (without ‘most’) when you use the superlative.
most easiest
and cheapest way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch with relatives, friends, business colleagues, etc. Nowadays the world becomes smaller and smaller. When I was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
girl, I could not imagine that it would be possible to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all around the world in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easy way. A person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
A determiner is probably missing here: “the latest”.
latest
news, become friends with someone from another country, find his
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
friends,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
a piece of advice, etc.

Finally
,
in addition
to these practical benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can shopping without leaving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
an Internet access, a computer and their cards to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a payment. It is kind of difficult to imagine that a few years ago
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to spend their time in lines buying tickets.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, a person can choose a destination,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, date and time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tickets delivered to his door. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it is amazing.

To sum up, I believe that computers made our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our attitude towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
with the invention of computers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
became closer and friendlier.

IELTS essay Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
405 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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