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The best way to learn about other cultures is to work in multinational organisation. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

The best way to learn about other cultures is to work in multinational organisation. v. 1
With the increase in globalisation, multinational companies have set their foot firmly in different countries. It is a good way to learn about cultures by working with these organisations, although in my opinion, it is not the best way to gather information of the native cultures. This essay will discuss why working in multicultural companies is not good for people who want to learn different lifestyles and will provide my opinion on that. The main reason why people opt for a job in global companies is because of the chance of getting out of their own country. Many people like to explore the world by moving out of their nation and to try different traditions offered by other countries. But in many cases expectations of non-native citizens get destroyed because of high pressure of work by these companies due to which workers do not get time to feel or indulge properly in the cultures. For example, a person whose job is to interact with native citizens, has to understand the language completely to provide the best service, but will not be able understand the culture. It is provided in many studies that rather than working for multinational companies, travelling provides the best way to accumulate knowledge of various traditions by experiencing them in real time in the country and by talking the native citizens. Furthermore, main knowledge regarding the native culture is provided to only higher level members of the organisations. For instance, a person doing a front desk job would be given less opportunities to work with native people, whereas people in the higher departments like managers will be given more chances to work with countryman. According to my perception, MNC is good for travelling to different countries but is not ideal for a person who seek to gain knowledge of different cultures and traditions. In order to learn about diverse cultures, I would suggest to travel to the country for holiday and enjoy the distinct culture.
With the increase in
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
, multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have set their foot
firmly
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. It is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
by working with these
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
, although in my opinion, it is not the best way to gather information of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. This essay will discuss why working in multicultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
lifestyles and will provide my opinion on that.

The main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opt for a job in global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the chance of getting out of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to explore the world by moving out of their nation and to try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
traditions offered by other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases expectations of non-native citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of high pressure of work by these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
due to which workers do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
time to feel or indulge
properly
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
For example
, a person whose job is to interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
citizens,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
understand the language completely to provide the best service,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will not be
The preposition 'to' is required in front of the verb 'understand'.
able understand
the culture.

It
is provided
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
studies that
rather
than working for multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, travelling provides the best way to accumulate knowledge of various traditions by experiencing them in real time in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and by talking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
citizens.
Furthermore
, main knowledge regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is provided
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
higher level members of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
.
For instance
, a person doing a front desk job would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun opportunities is countable.
less
opportunities to work with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the higher departments like managers will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more chances to work with countryman.

According to my perception,
Possible spelling mistake found.
MNC
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for travelling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is not ideal for a person who seek to gain knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and traditions. In order to learn about diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, I would suggest to travel to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for holiday and enjoy the distinct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay The best way to learn about other cultures is to work in multinational organisation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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