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The best way to increase employees' job satisfaction is to increase their salaries. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

The best way to increase employees' job satisfaction is to increase their salaries. v. 1
In recent times, it is thought by some individuals that assignment is still an essential aspect of school activities, whereas others feel it is becoming outdated. In my opinion, I think take home work is an imperative part of educational systems. This essay will discuss both views extensively. On the one hand, some people believe that assignment is gradually becoming less significant to college because it negatively affects people psychological behaviour. The reason is that assigning more work for learners to solve at home after institute is overwhelming, which prevents them from having a leisure time to take off the stress they have initially encountered during the classes. Consequently, many students are emotionally in balance due to the pressure. For instance, a girl in my neighbourhood usually behaves abnormally because she occasionally takes a few times to relax after studying, which always affect her mood, owing to the academy task she attends when she arrives home. Conversely, other people of which group I belong, think that take home task is a crucial part of education as it has a positive impact on many learners' academic performance. This is because giving more work to solve at home ensures that majority of them understand the topic treated in institute for that day adequately thus increasing their chances of performing excellently in the subject. For example, a survey carried out by the ministry of education in Nigeria shows that ninety percent of pupils assign home task perform extraordinarily in the learning environment. In conclusion, while some people think that teachers giving work to do with scholars at home is becoming old fashioned, I believe that tutors assigning take home task for students are still vital to improve their academic performance. These views have been discussed in detail above.
In recent times, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals that assignment is
still
an essential aspect of school activities, whereas others feel it is becoming outdated. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
take home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is an imperative part of educational systems. This essay will discuss both views
extensively
.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that assignment is
gradually
becoming less significant to college
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
negatively
affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
psychological
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. The reason is that assigning more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for learners to solve at home after institute is overwhelming, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them from having a leisure time to take off the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
they have
initially
encountered during the classes.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students are
emotionally
in balance due to the pressure.
For instance
, a girl in my
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
usually
behaves
abnormally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she
occasionally
takes a few times to relax after studying, which always affect her mood, owing to the academy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
she attends when she arrives home.

Conversely
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of which group I belong,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that take home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
is a crucial part of education as it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
learners' academic performance. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
giving more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to solve at home ensures that majority of them understand the topic treated in institute for that day
adequately
thus
increasing their chances of performing
excellently
in the subject.
For example
, a survey carried out by the ministry of education in Nigeria
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that ninety percent of pupils assign home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
perform
extraordinarily
in the learning environment.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that teachers giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to do with scholars at home is becoming
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
old fashioned
, I believe that tutors assigning take home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
for students are
still
vital to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their academic performance. These views have
been discussed
in detail above.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay The best way to increase employees' job satisfaction is to increase their salaries. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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