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the best way to deal with problems related to overweight is by introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum

the best way to deal with problems related to overweight is by introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum Ow68N
Due to the increasing number of people who suffer from obesity, most of the health systems around the world are stressed, because of dealing with this issue in addition to another ones, and for this reason, there is a thought that this problem can be solved by introducing more physical subjects for students at schools. In my opinion, education people through specific programs and supporting these by governments is more essential. In most cases, educating students with lessons related to health is not sufficient alone as they need to be mentored all the time not just at schools. Thus, certain programs can be established for this purpose to educate the people and provide them with the needed physical trainings. Some organizations, for example, can be prepared with experienced trainees and supported with materials to make them ready to help obesity people. Also, governments play an important role in supporting such programs. One of the supportive things, that could be done, is funding these organizations and training centers. In this way, after a certain period of time, the taken procedures will enhance the community's health, for instance, by removing the burden on the hospitals, which have been occupied with obesity issues. In conclusion, just teaching the students more subjects to maintain their health is not a good approach as they need an appropriate supervision to guarantee that they have considered what they learnt. For this reason, I believe that the population need to be educated and mentored by specialized persons and the people in the governments could contribute in avoiding problems related to obesity by support and establish the needed programs.
Due to the increasing number of
people
who suffer from obesity, most of the
health
systems around the world are
stressed
,
because
of dealing with this issue
in addition
to another ones, and
for this reason
, there is a
thought
that this problem can
be solved
by introducing more physical subjects for students at schools. In my opinion, education
people
through specific
programs
and supporting these by
governments
is more essential.

In most cases
, educating students with lessons related to
health
is not sufficient alone as they need to
be mentored
all the time not
just
at schools.
Thus
, certain
programs
can
be established
for this purpose to educate the
people
and provide them with the needed physical trainings.
Some
organizations,
for example
, can
be prepared
with experienced trainees and supported with materials to
make
them ready to
help
obesity
people
.

Also
,
governments
play an
important
role in supporting such
programs
. One of the supportive things, that could
be done
, is funding these organizations and training centers. In this way, after a certain period of time, the taken procedures will enhance the community's
health
,
for instance
, by removing the burden on the hospitals, which have
been occupied
with obesity issues.

In conclusion
,
just
teaching the students more subjects to maintain their
health
is not a
good
approach as they need an appropriate supervision to guarantee that they have considered what they
learnt
.
For this reason
, I believe that the population need to
be educated
and mentored by specialized persons and the
people
in the
governments
could contribute in avoiding problems related to obesity by support and establish the needed
programs
.
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IELTS essay the best way to deal with problems related to overweight is by introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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