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The benefit of urbanization

The benefit of urbanization 0B0nB
The share of the global population living in cities is expected to be 54% in 2014, and that number will double within the next 100 years. Many fear that this urban population growth will lead to housing shortages and increased competition for jobs. Therefore, this essay will argue that urbanization should be actively encouraged in developing countries. The biggest benefit is increased productivity. Productivity will increase due to economies of scale, as this means more can be produced at lower prices. Transportation is also a major factor as companies can connect with each other more easily and cheaper. Another benefit is related to the environment. City life is more environmentally friendly than rural life. People living in urban areas use less energy and fewer resources than people living in rural areas. The ultimate benefit is an increase in innovation, which aims to create a greener environment by reducing carbon emissions, improving air quality, or developing more advanced, environmentally friendly transportation systems. . Besides, it also aims to improve people's living standards and generate greater profits. concluded, although urbanization in significant amounts can present challenges, it also presents significant opportunities. Therefore, the process of urbanization needs to be accelerated so that cities provide opportunities for developing countries to enjoy the same benefits as developed countries, i. e. improved living standards.
The share of the global population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in cities is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to be 54% in 2014, and that number will double within the
next
100 years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
fear that this urban population growth will lead to housing shortages and increased competition for jobs.
Therefore
, this essay will argue that urbanization should be
actively
encouraged in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
. The biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
is increased
productivity. Productivity will increase due to economies of scale, as this means more can
be produced
at lower prices. Transportation is
also
a major factor as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can connect with each other more
easily
and cheaper. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
is related
to the environment. City life is more
environmentally
friendly than rural life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in urban areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
less energy and fewer resources than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in rural areas. The ultimate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
is an increase in innovation, which aims to create a greener environment by reducing carbon emissions, improving air quality, or developing more advanced,
environmentally
friendly transportation systems.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Besides
, it
also
aims to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
standards and generate greater profits.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
concluded
, although urbanization in significant amounts can present challenges, it
also
presents significant opportunities.
Therefore
, the process of urbanization needs to
be accelerated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that cities provide opportunities for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
to enjoy the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
,
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
standards.

IELTS essay The benefit of urbanization

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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