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The barchart below show the percentage of people have their own computer and level of education

The barchart below show the percentage of people have their own computer and level of education jVJ3w

The bar chart illustrates the information about the presentation of computer owner ship in the population and level of education from 2002 to 2010. The general overview is the percentage of computer ownership was highest in 2010 and the lowest percentage of computer ownership is 2002. Is this appearing that in 2002 58% of people had their own computers there will be increase in 2004 and 2006 they had a computer around 60% and 63% respectively. However there was to be significant in the next two years is rose to 65% and there was peak at 70% in 2010.

The bar chart illustrates the information about the presentation of computer owner ship in the population and level of education from 2002 to 2010. The general overview is the percentage of computer ownership was highest in 2010 and the lowest percentage of computer ownership is 2002. Is this appearing that in 2002 58% of This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 had their This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :possess
own
 computers there will be increase in 2004 and 2006 they had a computer around 60% and 63% respectively
. Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?However,
However
 there was to be significant in the next
 two years is rose to 65% and there was peak at 70% in 2010. 

IELTS essay The barchart below show the percentage of people have their own computer and level of education

Essay

American English

1 paragraphs

99 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 6.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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