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The barchart below show the percentage of people have their own computer and level of education

The barchart below show the percentage of people have their own computer and level of education jVJ3w
The bar chart illustrates the information about the presentation of computer owner ship in the population and level of education from 2002 to 2010. The general overview is the percentage of computer ownership was highest in 2010 and the lowest percentage of computer ownership is 2002. Is this appearing that in 2002 58% of people had their own computers there will be increase in 2004 and 2006 they had a computer around 60% and 63% respectively. However there was to be significant in the next two years is rose to 65% and there was peak at 70% in 2010.
The bar chart illustrates the information about the presentation of computer owner ship in the population and level of education from 2002 to 2010. The general overview is the percentage of computer ownership was highest in 2010 and the lowest percentage of computer ownership is 2002. Is this appearing that in 2002 58% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
computers there will be increase in 2004 and 2006 they had a computer around 60% and 63%
respectively
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
there was to be significant in the
next
two years is rose to 65% and there was peak at 70% in 2010.
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IELTS essay The barchart below show the percentage of people have their own computer and level of education

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
99 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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