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The bar graph below shows the numbers of male and female research students studying six subjects at a US university in 2011 v.1

The bar graph below shows the numbers of male and female research students studying six subjects at a US university in 2011 v. 1
In this technological era, the mechanism of sharing and enhancing knowledge is evolving, owing to digitization. It is argued by many that computers are better than libraries in providing information, and suggest that libraries should be replaced by computers. In my opinion, libraries are indispensable for providing information at a centralized place, and also, they offer a way to be device-free in this exhaustive technical time. Firstly, giant book places can accommodate many people at a time. Moreover, a single book is shared amongst multiple people, until the book becomes unusable. Secondly, books are less tiring for the eyes than computers, as blue light from these devices can cause various eye disorders, which can eventually weaken the eyesight. For Instance, ophthalmologists suggest that people working on computers should always wear spectacles, as screen harmful rays can penetrate the eyes, damaging the eyesight. Computers, on the other hand, offer benefits like automatic book search and take less storage for multiple books. One, hundreds of books can be stored inside a computer due to large memory and also, the memory of systems can be increased, using the hard drive. Furthermore, it is easy to search a book based on name, writer and, the topic on a computer, as compared to a library. To illustrate, in libraries people have to search various shelves for a single book till they get a book of interest, but in computers, they can just type the topic and book will be shown in the results. In conclusion, computers are a great way to read books, but they are not as well as libraries. Not only libraries provide a space to read books, but also they provide a space to share books at low-cost.
In this technological era, the mechanism of sharing and enhancing knowledge is evolving, owing to digitization. It
is argued
by
many
that computers are better than libraries in providing information, and suggest that libraries should
be replaced
by computers. In my opinion, libraries are indispensable for providing information at a centralized place, and
also
, they offer a way to be device-free in this exhaustive technical time.

Firstly
, giant
book
places can accommodate
many
people
at a time.
Moreover
, a single
book
is shared
amongst multiple
people
, until the
book
becomes unusable.
Secondly
,
books
are less tiring for the eyes than computers, as blue light from these devices can cause various eye disorders, which can
eventually
weaken the eyesight.
For Instance
, ophthalmologists suggest that
people
working on computers should always wear spectacles, as screen harmful rays can penetrate the eyes, damaging the eyesight.

Computers,
on the other hand
, offer benefits like automatic
book
search and take less storage for multiple
books
. One, hundreds of
books
can
be stored
inside a computer due to large memory and
also
, the memory of systems can
be increased
, using the
hard
drive.
Furthermore
, it is easy to search a
book
based on name, writer and, the topic on a computer, as compared to a library. To illustrate, in libraries
people
have to
search various shelves for a single
book
till they
get
a
book
of interest,
but
in computers, they can
just
type the topic and
book
will
be shown
in the results.

In conclusion
, computers are a great way to read
books
,
but
they are not
as well
as libraries. Not
only
libraries provide a space to read
books
,
but
also
they provide a space to share
books
at low-cost.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The bar graph below shows the numbers of male and female research students studying six subjects at a US university in 2011 v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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