Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The bar charts show the comparison of salt intake between men and women in different ages in American in 2000.

The bar charts show the comparison of salt intake between men and women in different ages in American in 2000. N3anN
The given chart illustrates the amounts of salt comsumed by American in 2000 by age and sex. Overall, the older Americans are, the more salt they ate but people who are more than 39 years old reduced their intake. Moreover, males usually ate more salt than females. With regard to male, the majority of salt being consumed in 2000 belonged to the 20-39 aged men, about 4500 milligrams. The 12-19 aged men and 40-60 aged men had the same figure, at approximately 4100 milligrams, which was followed by people who were under 60, at about 3600 milligrams. And the figure for the amount of salt intake of smallest aged group was the smallest, just more than 2000 milligrams. With regrad to female in the US, the number of salt being ate by the 29-39 aged women was the highest, at about 3100 milligrams, while the that of salt being ate by female from 12 to 19 years old and female from 40 to 60 years old was equal, at around 3000 milligrams. People who aged 60 consumed the suitable number of salt as the recommend salt intake fot adults, at 2500 milligrams and this figure was more than double the figure for the amount of salt intake of the under 6 aged group, at just 1400 milligrams.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chart illustrates the amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salt
Possible spelling mistake found.
comsumed
by American in 2000 by age and sex.

Overall
, the older Americans are, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salt
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are more than 39 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intake
.
Moreover
, males
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ate
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salt
than females.

With regard to male, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salt
being consumed
in 2000 belonged to the 20-39
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
, about 4500 milligrams. The 12-19
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and 40-60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
had the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
, at approximately 4100 milligrams, which
was followed
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who were under 60, at about 3600 milligrams. And the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intake
of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the smallest".
smallest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
group was the smallest,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
more than 2000 milligrams.

With
Possible spelling mistake found.
regrad
to female in the US, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salt
being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ate
by the 29-39
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
women was the highest, at about 3100 milligrams, while the that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salt
being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ate
by female from 12 to 19 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and female from 40 to 60 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
was equal, at around 3000 milligrams.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
60 consumed the suitable number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salt
as
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'recommend' is correct. If 'recommend' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the recommend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intake
Possible spelling mistake found.
fot
adults, at 2500 milligrams and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
was more than double the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intake
of the under 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
group, at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
1400 milligrams.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay The bar charts show the comparison of salt intake between men and women in different ages in American in 2000.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
217 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    Some people choose to live in house while the others choose to live in apartment. Compare and contrast both of them
    In the current economic development, there is a variety of housing options. In general, most people will choose houses while others choose flats. As many people are aware, these two types of housing have their differences and commonalities, on the contrary personally, I would prefer a house. To beg...
  • 6band
    essay ielts overpopulation disaster
    Without any doubt, the global population has significantly expanded over the past few decades. Still, the following phenomenon, which is called overpopulation, has some negative consequences that affect nature and humans as well. This essay will focus on the adverse causes of overpopulation and prov...
  • 5band
    Reading books and its benefits from the past till now
    From a long times ago, books is the best way for people to approach knowledges. Nowadays, books are still giving us benefits effects. First of all, our brains easily receive informations from books then ellectrical devices. Not only brains, also good for eyes. Specailly for children, they need to...
  • 5band
    Describe something that you are interested to learn or improve
    Learning is a great process that forms the cognition of almost every organism living in this world, and this process will never end during all of our life. There are numerous things to learn the knowledge we consume is never enough. However, humans can’t learn everything, we can just learn what is s...
  • 5.5band
    Problem and solution essay on theme stress in modern life
    Nowadays, modern life is becoming more stressful and more fast despite actions which we are taking. This essay will discuss the main problems associated with this stress and suggest some possible solutions to avoid them. One cause of stress in modern life is that we are trying to do too much becau...
  • 6band
    Overpopulation is a major problem in many urban centers around the world. What does this cause? What measures can be taken to solve it?
    Nowadays increasing trends of population is becoming the crucial factor that affects many cities negatively all over the world. Admittedly, there are various complications of overpopulation such as unfavorable environmental pollutions and unemployment whereas, these issues can be solve by making eff...