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It is being debated whether we should use credit card or cash mode of payment. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.1

It is being debated whether we should use credit card or cash mode of payment. v. 1
Although most of the people use a credit card as a mode of payment, some people are still using the paper money as a payment option. I would prefer the paper money over a credit card because it is accessible by everyone, it is a safer way of the payment. So, in my opinion, a cash system is still the best. First, most of the people today come from a very humble background, they do not have enough money to buy anything and the credit card approval requires some amount of money as an assurance so that people can afford to have that credit card. It would create a chaos if some people use credit cards and some do not use it. Also, the needs of the poor people could not be fulfilled. Hence, due to lack of money, people could suffer if only a credit card is imposed as a payment method. Second, there is a great chance of being hacked by a hacker if we use a credit card as a mode of payment everywhere like online shopping, supermarket shopping. For example, in the year 2018 a new of over 3000 persons being hacked and it was all just because of the online shopping by the cashless mode. So, it should be taken care that we should not use a cashless mode of the payment everywhere, even where cash is accepted. In conclusion, It would not be a fair choice if the government decides to revoke the cash as a method of the payment. So, until everyone becomes equal in the society in terms of the wealth, it would be a better option to stick with our cash mode of payment
Although most of the
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mode
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
still
using the paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
option. I would prefer the paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
over a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is accessible by everyone, it is a safer way of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in my opinion, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
system is
still
the best.

First
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
humble background, they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
approval requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as an assurance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can afford to have that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
. It would create a chaos if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it.
Also
, the needs of the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could not
be fulfilled
.
Hence
, due to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could suffer if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
is imposed
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
method.

Second, there is a great chance of
being hacked
by a hacker if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mode
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
everywhere like online shopping, supermarket shopping.
For example
, in the year 2018
The phrase 'a new of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a new of
over 3000 persons
being hacked
and it was all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the online shopping by the cashless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mode
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it should
be taken
care that we should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a cashless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mode
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
everywhere, even where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
.

In conclusion
, It would not be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
choice if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
decides to revoke the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
as a method of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, until everyone becomes equal in the society in terms of the wealth, it would be a better option to stick with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cash
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mode
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay It is being debated whether we should use credit card or cash mode of payment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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