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The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld device is harmful to individual and to society they live in .To What extend do you agree or disagree?

The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld device is harmful to individual and to society they live in. 8wYV
Due to digitalization and plethora of attractive graphic designs, video games are inclining the popularity charts in terms of entertainment. Computer games as enjoyment option is imposing as threat to society and individual. This essay agree with the argument that we should limit the use of computerized plays as its hazardous to a few people. Firstly, due to peak of electronics market cost of play stations are sky rocketing. Numerous amount of free of charge games are also available which require you to pay a small fee to reach ultra or higher mode. Addicted to it can cause dangerous consequences where one can spend upto thousands of families income. Younger generation is more prone to these kind of plays where they play in group. To illustrate, a boy from india was in news as he purchased ps4 and ps5 play station from stealing money from his father. On the other hand, These computer based tournaments are in verge of security breach in many countries. Since plenty of the video games are not locally manufactured they are designed to collect user data and expose it to international black hacker market. Multiple new channels have shown enormous amount of application data breach incidents where multiple players personal information is getting sold. For instance, Government in india has banned ample of chinese apps including famous game PUBG for safety reasons moreover, multiple celebreties are endorsing locally made game as dream11 and FAUG. To conclude, Any kind of digital entertainment is not harmful until it is not addictive or scutinize the safety concerns. This essay discussed the side effects of addiction to digital tournament. In my opinion, we should encourage one's nation apps which give economic growth and limit the time we spend on our screens.
Due to digitalization and plethora of attractive graphic designs, video
games
are inclining the popularity charts in terms of entertainment. Computer
games
as enjoyment option is imposing as threat to society and individual. This essay
agree
with the argument that we should limit the
use
of computerized
plays
as
its
hazardous to a few
people
.

Firstly
, due to peak of electronics market cost of
play
stations are
sky rocketing
. Numerous amount of free of charge
games
are
also
available which require you to pay a
small
fee to reach ultra or higher mode. Addicted to it can cause
dangerous
consequences where one can spend
upto
thousands of families income. Younger generation is more prone to
these kind
of
plays
where they
play
in group. To illustrate, a boy from
india
was in news as he
purchased
ps4 and ps5
play
station from stealing money from his father.

On the other hand
,
These computer
based tournaments are in verge of security breach in
many
countries. Since
plenty
of the video
games
are not
locally
manufactured they
are designed
to collect user data and expose it to international black hacker market. Multiple new channels have shown enormous amount of application data breach incidents where multiple players personal information is getting sold.
For instance
,
Government
in
india
has banned ample of
chinese
apps including
famous
game PUBG for safety reasons
moreover
, multiple
celebreties
are endorsing
locally
made game as dream11 and
FAUG
.

To conclude
, Any kind of digital entertainment is not harmful until it is not addictive or
scutinize
the safety concerns. This essay discussed the side effects of addiction to digital tournament. In my opinion, we should encourage one's nation apps which give economic growth and limit the time we spend on our screens.
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IELTS essay The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld device is harmful to individual and to society they live in.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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