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Prison is the common way in most countries to try to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. Do you agree or disagree?

Prison is the common way in most countries to try to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. L1e6
It is crutial to find the effective solution to criminal activities. Weather imprisonment or better education both are considered to bring significant change to the criminal mindset. In the following paragraph I will analyse both the option and present my view. Imprisonment is the most common punishment for crime but, it is momentary. Once the acussed person is out they may again indulge into some or the other anti social activity and end up in prison again. However, it is essential to find another practical solution to the problem. By the way it cannot be neglected as the fear of imprisonment will prevent masses from doing crime. On the other hand when individuals are provided with a better education they become more responsible as a citizen of a nation. They achieve the required knowledge and skill which enable them to acquire a respectable job. Thus issues related to unemployment and finances are sliced. These two are the main causes for crime in any area. The study done by a university in the United Kingdom clearly states that countries with higher rate of education have lower criminal records To sum up, the social problems like lack of employment and money to run family leads to crime. While prisons are needed to control the tendency of doing crime in individual, education can give them understanding of choosing right path and meet their requirements, lack of which make them lawbreakers
It is
Possible spelling mistake found.
crutial
to find the effective solution to criminal activities. Weather imprisonment or better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
both
are considered
to bring significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to the criminal mindset. In the following paragraph I will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
both the option and present my view. Imprisonment is the most common punishment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, it is momentary. Once the
Possible spelling mistake found.
acussed
person is out they may again indulge into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
or the other
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
anti social
activity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in prison again.
However
, it is essential to find another practical solution to the problem. By the way it cannot
be neglected
as the fear of imprisonment will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
masses from doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
On the other hand
when individuals
are provided
with a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
they become more responsible as a citizen of a nation. They achieve the required knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
which enable them to acquire a respectable job.
Thus
issues related to unemployment and finances
are sliced
. These two are the main causes for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in any area. The study done by a university in the United Kingdom
clearly
states that countries with higher rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
have lower criminal records To sum up, the social problems like lack of employment and money to run family leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. While prisons
are needed
to control the tendency of doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in individual,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can give them understanding of choosing right path and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their requirements, lack of which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
lawbreakers
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IELTS essay Prison is the common way in most countries to try to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
236 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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