Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The analysis of "Government Must Preserve National Parks" Adapted from Todd Davidson

The analysis of "Government Must Preserve National Parks" Adapted from Todd Davidson KwP16
Depicted beautifully, National Parks, from Crater Lake to Great Smoky Mountains, are in concern of T. Davidson who is trying convince people to preserve them. To support his claim, he had showed us the benefits of National Parks: History, tourism, economic value, and employment. Then, he described that situations that made him concerned. First of all, he mentioned about the significant of history. He pointed out two aspects of history: Heritage and Nation. He showed that National Parks are heritage full of history and relate it to the spirit of nation. He suggested that they are what the world would perceive when they look upon America. Hence, the goverment who is the governer of all americans should keep it nation's spirit alive since it is what tied people of the nations together. Moreover, he mentioned the Park rangers whom he said to be the life bringers of National Parks. This implied that National Parks preservation are not only the place but also the personels.
Depicted
beautifully
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
National
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parks
, from Crater Lake to Great Smoky Mountains, are in concern of T. Davidson who is
Probably a preposition is missing after 'trying'.
trying convince
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to preserve them. To support his claim, he had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
us the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
National
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parks
:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
, tourism, economic value, and employment. Then, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
that situations that made him concerned.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, he
Did you mean simply "mentioned the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
mentioned about the
significant of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. He pointed out two aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
: Heritage and Nation. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
National
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parks
are heritage full of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and relate it to the spirit of nation.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
He
suggested that they are what the world would perceive when they look upon America.
Hence
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
who is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
governer
of all
Possible spelling mistake found.
americans
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it nation's spirit alive since it is what tied
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of the nations together.
Moreover
, he mentioned the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Park
rangers whom he said to be the life bringers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
National
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parks
. This implied that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
National
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parks
preservation are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
personels
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay The analysis of "Government Must Preserve National Parks" Adapted from Todd Davidson

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
164 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts