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Who must responsible to the citizen of poor country?

Who must responsible to the citizen of poor country? QLa7b
Recently, the gap between poor and wealth country is very high. For example, the citizens of wealth country such as United Nation, British or Singapore have annual income around hundred thoulsand US dolar while poor nation like Timor leste, Burundi and Burkinavaso only have annual income less than three hundred US dolar. Not only in income, the gap also occure at education sector. Nowadays, student in rich country already study using smart phone or laptop. In contrast, student in reach country still have limitid access to book which is the fundamental tools for study. It has been known that low income and education is correlate to human exploitation and crime. For those reason, improving the economy and education of the people in poor country is the responsibility of all country around the world. By helping poor nation improve their economics and education, wealth country will get alot of benefit in return. First, good education means good skill, so by improve the education of poor country, wealth country will provide a cheeps-high skill lebour. Second, good income mean high ability to buy luxury product. So, if poor country become wealth, rich country can shell various ot their product to those poor country. In other word, by helping poor country, rich nation become more wealth
Recently, the gap between
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poor
and
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wealth
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country
is
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very
high.
For example
, the citizens of
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wealth
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country
such as United
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Nation
, British or Singapore have annual
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income
around hundred
Possible spelling mistake found.
thoulsand
US
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dolar
while
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poor
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nation
like Timor
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leste
, Burundi and
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Burkinavaso
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have annual
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income
less than three hundred US
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dolar
. Not
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only
in
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income
, the gap
also
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occure at
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education
sector. Nowadays, student in rich
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country
already study using smart phone or laptop.
In contrast
, student in reach
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country
still
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
limitid
access to book which is the fundamental tools for study. It has
been known
that low
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income
and
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education
is correlate to human exploitation and crime. For those reason, improving the economy and
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education
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
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poor
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country
is the responsibility of all
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country
around the world. By helping
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poor
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nation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their economics and
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education
,
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wealth
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country
will
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get
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alot
of benefit in return.
First
,
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good
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education
means
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
,
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so
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
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education
of
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poor
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country
,
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wealth
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country
will provide a cheeps-high
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skill
Possible spelling mistake found.
lebour
. Second,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
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income
mean high ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
luxury product.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if
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poor
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country
become
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wealth
, rich
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country
can shell various
Possible spelling mistake found.
ot
their product to those
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poor
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country
. In other word, by helping
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poor
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country
, rich
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nation
become more
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
wealth
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IELTS essay Who must responsible to the citizen of poor country?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
212 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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