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Some people believe that children should make their decisions by their own however other think that it will put bad impact on them describe both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that children should make their decisions by their own however other think that it will put bad impact on them describe both views and give your own opinion. Aj6B3
Children are most important part of every nation because future of the nation depends on them. That is why, it is said by many individuals that if offsprings start make their own decisions then they start to think only about themselves while other think that it put impact on them. Now, I will describe both views and after that, I will give my own opinion. If children will make their own decisions then they will become more independent because they can get experience. Even, if they will make any wrong decision then when they will see the results of it. Consequently they will become aware. Although, they will learn how to tackle problems by their own due to the fact that if they will make any decision then due to the lack of knowledge they will face difficulties to complete it. However, some masses believe that offsprings will become more selfish because they will make those decisions which will good only for them. They will start to do wrong things such as looting and taking drugs. For example, a recent report showed that those children do more crimes and taking drugs who makes every decision by their own. At the end, in my perspective children should make their decisions related to their study and clothes but other crucial decision should be made by their parents.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are
Did you mean "the most"?
most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of every nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
future of the nation depends on them.
That is
why, it
is said
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals that if
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about themselves while other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it put impact on them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
both views and after that, I will give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
then they will become more independent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
experience. Even, if they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
then when they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the results of it.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
they will become aware. Although, they will learn how to tackle problems by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
due to the fact that if they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
then due to the lack of knowledge they will face difficulties to complete it.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
masses believe that
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
will become more selfish
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for them. They will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
things such as looting and taking drugs.
For example
, a recent report
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do more crimes and taking drugs who
Did you mean "make"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'drugs' should be used.
makes
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, in my perspective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
related to their study and clothes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
should
be made
by their parents.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that children should make their decisions by their own however other think that it will put bad impact on them describe both views and give your own opinion.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
225 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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