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The advantages oof retaking tests

The advantages oof retaking tests XqKKO
There is an idea that it should be obligatory for drivers to retake driving test every 5 years. This option would certainly have several pros and cons. On the one hand, the main advantage of this decision is the is the safety roads. In other words, if a person revises the rules regularly, one would be aware of the latest changes in the traffic Laws and have a chance to prove his knowledge. Therefore, the rate of responsible car owners would increase while the number of car accidents would decrease. Moreover, these exams could be beneficial for drivers. This means that they would have mandatory medical check-ups, for example vision, hearing or heart check. This issue might help to prevent serious diseases. Hence regular doctors’ appointments might reduce the amount of car crushes connected with the poor drivers’ health. On the other hand, there are several disadvantages of this. Firstly, the amount of participants taking part at these exams. This means that every year the great number of people get their license and with this new rule the rate of test retakes would increase in progression. Consequently, the lack of places where drivers could retake their tests. Secondly, the gap between theory and real driving, as not all the drivers, especially the younger ones, are always obey the rules. For instance, sometimes a driver has to violate the law to avoid the car accident. Thus the practice of retaking tests might be just a waste of time and money for professional drivers. In summation, the initiative of mandatory test retaking has more benefits than drawbacks. As the safeness of traffic participants should be everyone’s priority during the road trip.
There is an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that it should be obligatory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
to retake driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
test
every 5 years. This option would
certainly
have several pros and cons.

On the one hand, the main advantage of this decision
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "is the".
is the is the
safety roads.
In other words
, if a person revises the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
regularly
, one would be aware of the latest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the traffic Laws and have a chance to prove his knowledge.
Therefore
, the rate of responsible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
owners would increase while the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
accidents would decrease.
Moreover
, these exams could be beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
. This means that they would have mandatory medical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
-ups,
for example
vision, hearing or heart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
. This issue might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
serious diseases.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
regular doctors’ appointments might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
crushes connected with the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers’
health.

On the other hand
, there are several disadvantages of this.
Firstly
, the amount of participants taking part at these exams. This means that every year the great number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their license and with this new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
test
retakes would increase in progression.
Consequently
, the lack of places where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
could retake their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tests
.
Secondly
, the gap between theory and real driving, as not all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
,
especially
the younger ones, are always
Consider using a past participle here: "obeyed".
obey
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
violate the law to avoid the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
accident.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the practice of retaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tests
might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a waste of time and money for professional drivers.

In summation, the initiative of mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
test
retaking has more benefits than drawbacks.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
the safeness of traffic participants should be everyone’s priority during the road trip.
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IELTS essay The advantages oof retaking tests

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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