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The advantages of university education

The advantages of university education 0MXoQ
The university education is good to learn and it’s can develop you in various sides. Then I will explain about the advantages of university education. Firstly, the university education can develop your skills. Studying at university is a great way to develop your knowledge and that can help you to in the profession you aspire to be. The skills in university education also can enhance your employability by its will make you stand out from other candidates who may not gone to university or gained these skills. Secondly, to make you can increase your earning potential because your salary will depending on which degree you have and what profession you enter. Majority of people accept that graduates will earn money more than a person who hasn’t gained a degree. A person who get a degree also can increase their chances to climb up the career ladder quicker too. Thirdly, you will have an opportunity to make new friends because in the university is provide an opportunity to make friends and we will meet various different people and you can also meet people who is same as you then you can sharing the similar experiences to each other. Life in the university mostly of time you may with friends that make you to have a strong friendship while you’re in university and these friends will become a life-long friends. The university education can develop you in many side and that will make you grow up.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to learn and it’s can
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develop
you in various sides. Then I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
about the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
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education
.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is a great way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
your knowledge and that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to in the profession you aspire to be. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
also
can enhance your employability by its will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
you stand out from other candidates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
may not gone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or gained these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Secondly
, to
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make
you can increase your earning potential
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
your salary will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "depend"
depending
on which degree you have and what profession you enter. Majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
accept that graduates will earn money more than a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
hasn’t gained a degree. A person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a degree
also
can increase their chances to climb up the career ladder quicker too.
Thirdly
, you will have an opportunity to
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make
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is
Consider using a past participle here: "provided".
provide
an opportunity to
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make
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
friends and
we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
various
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and you can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "am", "are", "aren"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
is
same as you then you can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "share"
sharing
the similar experiences to each other. Life in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
mostly
of time you may with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
you to have a strong friendship while you’re in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
will become a life-long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
you in
Possible agreement error. The noun side seems to be countable; consider using: "many sides".
many side
and that will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
you grow up.
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IELTS essay The advantages of university education

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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