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Effects of the increases in people attending universities

Effects of the increases in people attending universities R5OpG
The increase in the number of students attending universities in the last few decades has shown us a positive flow of interests, among the people, regarding education. It's good that more people want to study, however, the negative of having too much people in a campus need to be point out. In this essay, it will states the benefits and risks of the rising amount of students. As more people attending the university, the campus is forced to increases the quality and quantity of the facilities to accommodates more people. Students will not only received a better education from the new equipment and buildings, but the reconstruction will provide a safer place for them as old building tends to have cracks and tears. Additionally, the increase in students also mean the rise in the number of skilled workers. In the future, repetitive tasks will ultimately be replace by robots and AI, so people need to continuously improving their skills level in order to stay relevant. In the other hand, the number of attendees doesn't represent the amount of high-skilled worker in the future. Rather than seeing universities as a place to improve their skills, lots of people applied because of the pressure from family and society that dictate the value of a person by the education degrees. Furthermore, the efficiency of the traditional teaching method reduce exponentially as the number of students increase. Overcrowding can lead to the increase of noise level inside the classroom which prevents a large portion of students to be distracted and unable to focused on studying. Also, the professor may not be able to reach the students, who are struggle, because the population size are too big. In conclusion, some people are worried that overcrowding in university may affect the overall education level, but the increase also show that people took more concerns regarding education. Nevertheless, university is not the only place that you can further improve you skills and people should pursue in what they are both happy with and what they are good at.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
in the last few decades has shown us a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
flow of interests, among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. It's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to study,
however
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
of having too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a campus need to be point out. In this essay, it will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "state"
states
the benefits and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of the rising amount of students.

As more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, the campus
is forced
to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "increase".
increases
the quality and quantity of the facilities to accommodates more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
The verb 'will' requires base form of the verb: "receive"
received
a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
from the new equipment and buildings,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the reconstruction will provide a safer place for them as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
building tends to have cracks and tears.
Additionally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
also
mean the rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of skilled workers. In the future, repetitive tasks will
ultimately
be
Consider using a past participle here: "replaced".
replace
by robots and AI,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
continuously
improving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
level in order to stay relevant.

In the other hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of attendees doesn't represent the amount of high-skilled worker in the future.
Rather
than seeing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
as a place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
applied
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the pressure from family and society that dictate the value of a person by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
degrees.
Furthermore
, the efficiency of the traditional teaching method
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
exponentially
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
. Overcrowding can lead to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
of noise level inside the classroom which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
a large portion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
be distracted
and unable to focused on studying.
Also
, the professor may not be able to reach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, who are struggle,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the population size are too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are worried
that overcrowding in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
may affect the
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
level,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
took more concerns regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
place that you can
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should pursue in what they are both happy with and what they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at.
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IELTS essay Effects of the increases in people attending universities

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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