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Obesity in children has become one of the leading health concerns. What are the caused and effect of the same

Obesity in children has become one of the leading health concerns. What are the caused and effect of the same rKdwN
There has been prolific increase in the number of children who are suffering from the major health issue of overweight. The impending essay will discuss certain reasons why it has occurred as well as the impact of the same. There are multiple causes behind the growth of this problem. Firstly, consumption of junk food is one of the biggest reason why minors tend to be obese these days. On the every corner of high street fast foods are easily available in recent time like KFC, Subway, Mc Donald which makes it easier for the kids to access junk meals. Secondly, lifestyle contributed significantly into the situation. In recent time youth is mostly engaged with social media as a result they lack interest in any type of physical activities. For example, every child can be seen glued to electronic gadgets completely ignoring outdoor activities. The effect of this will continue to be very serious. To begin with, this tend to make children exposed to the possibility of being harmed physically, such as, they are prone to different type of diseases likely diabetes, high blood pressure. Moreover, quite alarmingly, children with weight issue become easy prey to mental health problems like anxiety, stress. Since they often experience inferiority complex and bullying due to their weight. As per a survey conducted by National Health Corporation of India, as much as 43% school going children face extreme depression at some point of time. In conclusion, it can be seen that there are many reasons why children tend to be overweight these days with several negative effects. Effective steps can be taken in order to handle the situation.
There has been prolific increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are suffering from the major health issue of overweight. The impending essay will discuss certain reasons why it has occurred
as well
as the impact of the same.

There are multiple causes behind the growth of this problem.
Firstly
, consumption of junk food is one of the biggest reason why minors tend to be obese these days. On the every corner of high street
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
foods are
easily
available in recent time like KFC, Subway,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mc
Donald which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easier for the kids to access junk meals.
Secondly
, lifestyle contributed
significantly
into the situation. In recent time youth is
mostly
engaged with social media
as a result
they lack interest in any type of physical activities.
For example
, every child can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
glued to electronic gadgets completely ignoring outdoor activities.

The effect of this will continue to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
serious. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
The verb 'tend' is plural. Did you mean: "this tends"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this tend
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
exposed to the possibility of
being harmed
physically
, such as, they are prone to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type of diseases likely diabetes, high blood pressure.
Moreover
, quite
alarmingly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with weight issue become easy prey to mental health problems like anxiety,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. Since they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
experience inferiority complex and bullying due to their weight. As per a survey conducted by National Health Corporation of India, as much as 43% school going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
face extreme depression at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point of time.

In conclusion
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
tend to be overweight these days with several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects. Effective steps can
be taken
in order to handle the situation.
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IELTS essay Obesity in children has become one of the leading health concerns. What are the caused and effect of the same

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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