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The advantages are greater for the person living in the country

The advantages are greater for the person living in the country 8d3om
In my opinion and personal experience. The advantages are greater for the person living in the country. But for people who are only there for a specific period of time it can be more expensive because usually that type of person may not have a stable economy as people who are from the country. Even so, the advantages are much greater because by paying a lot of money to the state there are possibilities of seeing greater results in the maintenance of the same. For example, in this type of economy, hospitals will have updated equipment, employees, essential services, etc. In the schools, the students will have a much better quality of education. Since, the money collected from taxes will be reflected in the structures of the schools, and all the equipment to be able to educate the children well. In addition, we can also see the money invested in the roads of the country. For example, fixed with good sealing, well painted and without any bad shape that can create accidents or damage the cars. With this type of economy it is easier to organize the money collected and it can be distributed in a more direct way to avoid theft or loss of money.
In my opinion and personal experience. The advantages are greater for the person living in the country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
there for a specific period of time it can be more expensive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
usually
that type of person may not have a stable economy as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are from the country. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the advantages are much greater
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by paying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to the state there are possibilities of seeing greater results in the maintenance of the same.
For example
, in this type of economy, hospitals will have updated equipment, employees, essential services, etc. In the schools, the students will have a much better quality of education. Since, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
collected from taxes will
be reflected
in the structures of the schools, and all the equipment to be able to educate the children well.
In addition
, we can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
invested in the roads of the country.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sealing, well painted and without any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
shape that can create accidents or damage the cars.

With this type of economy it is easier to organize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
collected and it can
be distributed
in a more direct way to avoid theft or loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
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IELTS essay The advantages are greater for the person living in the country

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
206 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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