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the advantages and disadvantages of having young adults population

the advantages and disadvantages of having young adults population Vyyqw
In many societies, the proportion of young persons have been on the rise. Nowadays, the citizens of some nations are mostly teenagers and young adults in comparison to middle-aged and elders. While there seem to exist several negative consequences of having a young generation, I would argue that there are numerous potential merits of it. Having a young population can, on the one hand, be both productive and beneficial for the country. When individuals are under their 40s, they are able to work and make a living without any assistance from the government. An issue that is the main plus point of this view. Take as a case in point, a young country has more labor force for construction and production in factories. Owing to this fact, not only would they work for the government, but also they would pay the bills and taxes. That is another merit of having a lot of young people in the country. Moreover, the last but not least advantage of this situation is that the young generation makes the society more vibrant and spread joy plus happiness among it. On the other hand, many believe young adults do not have adequate experiences to be in charge of important tasks, and it would take several years to achieve proper undergoes. Something that could be considered as a minor point. Additionally, the country ought to devote major parts of its capital to building educational projects and recreational facilities to both educate and entertain either, which is another demerit of having fewer elders than youngers. From what has been discussed and in order to draw a conclusion, it seems that the privileges of having young citizens surpass its drawbacks and would bring about more benefits.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
societies, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
persons have been on the rise. Nowadays, the citizens of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations are
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and
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young
adults
in comparison
to middle-aged and elders. While there seem to exist several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of
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having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation, I would argue that there are numerous potential merits of it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
population can, on the one hand, be both productive and beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. When individuals are under their 40s, they are able to work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living without any assistance from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. An issue
that is
the main plus point of this view. Take as a case in point, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has more labor force for construction and production in factories. Owing to this fact, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
would they work for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they would pay the bills and taxes.
That is
another merit of
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having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
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country
.
Moreover
, the last
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but
not
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
advantage of this situation is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the society more vibrant and spread joy plus happiness among it.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults do not have adequate experiences to be in charge of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
tasks, and it would take several years to achieve proper undergoes. Something that could
be considered
as a minor point.
Additionally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
ought to devote major parts of its capital to building educational projects and recreational facilities to both educate and entertain either, which is another demerit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
fewer elders than
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
. From what has
been discussed
and in order to draw a conclusion, it seems that the privileges of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
citizens surpass its drawbacks and would bring about more benefits.
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IELTS essay the advantages and disadvantages of having young adults population

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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