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Some people believe that teachers play a major role in children's social and intellectual development, while others argue that parents are not less important. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

Some people believe that teachers play a major role in children's social and intellectual development, while others argue that parents are not less important. b2253
There have been some discussions about teachers or parents, who play a major role in children’s comprehensive development and which one is more important. Personally, I’m in favor with latter figure although both of trainers have their own advantages in teaching kids. It is undeniable that professional guidance by teachers has a full impact on academic skill and also a minor effect on social perspective. Respect to intellectual aspect, teachers are a good mentor, who show the easiest way to approach the critical and logical thinking by having a several activities in class, namely get to know the underlying mechanism of how things work, expose others’ feeling or perspective and have an opportunity to argue with other students by using their own ideas. Socially speaking, which also has a similar influence on learners as know as confident in speaking in public. For example, through doing a presentation and studying with various kinds of people, kids will gain a lot of experience to buy self-confidence and easily make a perfect speech. On the other hand, parents’ role is also important as teacher, which lays the foundation for children to develop their interpersonal and cognitive capabilities. Regarding social abilities, children could learn how to understand, respect and support others by imitating these behaviors from their caretakers. To be more specific, when a parent demonstrates the ability to accept opposing opinions, their children would be more likely to do the same. When it comes to intellectual knowledge, parents could bring the high quality domestic educational provision to their kids. Talking about home education, parents may help juniors with their homeworks and assist them to comprehend the subject matters, which prepare the base for them to study in school. In conclusion, both instructors have their own solutions to raise the kids but I still believe that domestic background has a huge effect on people. Also by good deeds from their guardians, children may see a silver lining in any hardship that they face.
There have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
discussions about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, who play a major role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
comprehensive development and which one is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
Personally
, I’m in favor with latter figure although both of trainers have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages in teaching kids.

It is undeniable that professional guidance by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
has a full impact on academic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and
also
a minor effect on social perspective. Respect to intellectual aspect,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mentor, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the easiest way to approach the critical and logical thinking by having a several
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "activity"?
activities
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
,
namely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know the underlying mechanism of how things work, expose others’ feeling or perspective and have an opportunity to argue with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
students by using their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
Socially
speaking, which
also
has a similar influence on learners as know as confident in speaking in public.
For example
, through doing a presentation and studying with various kinds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, kids will gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
experience to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
self-confidence and
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a perfect speech.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
role is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
, which lays the foundation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to develop their interpersonal and cognitive capabilities. Regarding social abilities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could learn how to understand, respect and support others by
The usual collocation for word "imitate" is "of" not "from," as in "imitate the style of someone." Revise: "imitating these behaviors of their caretakers".
imitating these behaviors from their caretakers
. To be more specific, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
demonstrates the ability to accept opposing opinions, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would be more likely to do the same. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to intellectual knowledge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
could bring the high quality domestic educational provision to their kids. Talking about home education,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
juniors with their
Possible spelling mistake found.
homeworks
and assist them to comprehend the subject matters, which prepare the base for them to study in school.

In conclusion
, both instructors have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
solutions to raise the kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
still
believe that domestic background has a huge effect on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
deeds from their guardians,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a silver lining in any hardship that they face.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that teachers play a major role in children's social and intellectual development, while others argue that parents are not less important.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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