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The 21st century has begun. What changes do you think this new century will bring? Use examples and details in your answer. v.9

The 21st century has begun. What changes do you think this new century will bring? Use examples and details in your answer. v. 9
The new era of the 21st century has already induced unimaginable changes in the world. What more will come? This has become a contentious discussion, where, virtual cognition becomes a reality everyday. In this essay we will discuss this more in detail and will draw an inference. Since the start of this era, humankind has already transformed its' retrospect perceptions in working models. With advancement in technology, people and businesses throughout the globe has got connected to each other. For example, in this COVID-19 pandemic, although the borders of all the countries are shut down, but, the business is still on the move because of the modern high tech systems like internet and online meeting platforms like zoom. Moreover, even in the lockdown, the society is still socially connected through various social media platforms. Having said that, the new century has already embraced propitious changes in the world. Albeit, this growth has made this generation high tech, yet, people feel ecstatic to imagine and build new technologies for their betterment. To illustrate, in this pandemic, the long awaited robotics have already been introduced in medicine system. Although, the robots have started serving as non contact treatment specialists for the COVID patients, however, the scientists are still working towards making robotics work in various other fields. The generation has already planned to travel to Mars in near future. May be the cars will fly and float, along with the usual access on roads, with nature friendly fuel. Nonetheless, if the human is able to conceive a thought, then he has got the power to deliver it to his association. To recapitulate, having mulled over above information and deliberating all the facts, it can be deducted that the two decades of years 2000 have already seen an astonishing transformation. Besides, much more is in the pipeline to come as a new normal for the humans. I feel, despite multifarious challenges, our generation has ascertained to grow with technology and changes, still, we always look forward for the advancement.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
era of the 21st century has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
already
induced unimaginable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the world. What more will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
? This has become a contentious discussion, where, virtual cognition becomes a reality
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
. In this essay we will discuss this more in detail and will draw an inference.

Since the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of this era, humankind has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
already
transformed
An apostrophe is never used to form possessive case pronouns. Did you mean: "its"?
its'
retrospect perceptions in working models. With advancement in technology,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and businesses throughout the globe has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
connected to each other.
For example
, in this COVID-19 pandemic, although the borders of all the countries
are shut
down,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, the business is
still
on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the modern high tech systems like internet and online meeting platforms like zoom.
Moreover
, even in the lockdown, the society is
still
socially
connected through various social media platforms. Having said that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
century has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
already
embraced propitious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the world.

Albeit, this growth has made this generation high tech,
yet
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel ecstatic to imagine and build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technologies for their betterment. To illustrate, in this pandemic, the long awaited robotics have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
already
been introduced
in medicine system. Although, the robots have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
serving as non contact treatment specialists for the
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
COVID
patients,
however
, the scientists are
still
working towards making robotics work in various other fields. The generation has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
already
planned to travel to Mars in near future.
Did you mean "maybe" (= perhaps)?
May be
the cars will
fly
and float, along with the usual access on roads, with nature friendly fuel. Nonetheless, if the human is able to conceive a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, then he has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the power to deliver it to his association.

To recapitulate, having mulled over above information and deliberating all the facts, it can
be deducted
that the two decades of years 2000 have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
an astonishing transformation.
Besides
, much more is in the pipeline to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
normal for the humans. I feel, despite multifarious challenges, our generation has ascertained to grow with technology and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
,
still
, we always look forward for the advancement.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay The 21st century has begun. What changes do you think this new century will bring? Use examples and details in your answer. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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