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Do you agree or disagree that animals should be kept in men made cells.

that animals should be kept in men made cells. VBwV7
I disagree that animals should be kept in men made cells. I feel that zoos are an unsuitable environment for animals and therefore should be abolished. Firstly, zoo animals are kept in very confined area compared with their vast natural habitat. Due to this zoo animals develop unnatural habits like pacing back and forth or swaying from side to side. For example, polar bears are given about 10 metres of walking space where as in their arctic home they roam for hundreds of kilometers. Similarly, lions and tigers are confined in cages where they lack exercise and stimulation. What is more, it is very common for visitors to tease and provoke caged animals. This also leads to unnatural behavior in animals. Secondly, the breeding programmes taken up by zoos are not very successful. For instance, the ‗Panda Breeding Programme‘ has been very costly and unsuccessful. Also, zoo life does not prepare animals for the challenges of life in the wild. They are provided good food in the zoos, but if left in the jungle, they may die of starvation because they cannot hunt for themselves. Finally, the zoo is an unnatural environment that exposes animals to many dangers. Diseases often spread between species that would never live together naturally. For example, many Asian elephants have died in African zoos after catching herpes from African elephants. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, zoos are unnatural habitats for the wild animals and there is no justification in caging these marvelous creatures of God.
I disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
made cells. I feel that zoos are
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
an


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
unsuitable
environment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
therefore
should
be abolished
.

Firstly
, zoo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
confined area compared with their vast natural

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
habitat
. Due to this zoo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unnatural
habits like pacing back and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
forth


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
or
swaying from side to side.
For example
, polar bears are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
about 10
Possible spelling mistake. 'metres' is British English.
metres
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of


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
walking
space
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
in their arctic home they roam for hundreds of kilometers.

Similarly
, lions and tigers
are confined
in cages where they lack exercise and

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
stimulation
.
What is more
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common for visitors to tease and provoke
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
caged


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
animals
. This
also
leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unnatural
behavior in animals.

Secondly
, the breeding
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
taken up by zoos are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
successful. For

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
instance
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
‗Panda
Breeding
Possible spelling mistake. 'Programme' is British English.
Programme
‘ has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly and unsuccessful.

Also
, zoo life does not prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for the challenges of life in the wild. They
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
are


provided
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
food in the zoos,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
in the jungle, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
of starvation

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
they cannot hunt for themselves.

Finally
, the zoo is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unnatural
environment that exposes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
.

Diseases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
spread between species that would never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together
naturally
. For

example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Asian elephants have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
in African zoos after catching herpes from

African elephants.

To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, zoos are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unnatural
habitats for the wild

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
animals
and there is no justification in caging these marvelous creatures of God.
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IELTS essay that animals should be kept in men made cells.

Essay
  American English
20 paragraphs
256 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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