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Thanks to the increse of technology, people today have greater amount of time.What are the advantages and disadvantages ?

Thanks to the increse of technology, people today have greater amount of time. What are the advantages and disadvantages? DVj7E
In this high-tech era, masses nowadays have leisure time due to enhancement of technology. This essay will discuss both pros and cons of using technology in spare time in the forthcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, there are various advantages of using technical equipments in spare time. The predominant one is that it is a good source of entertainment as well as education. To be specific, individuals can acquire any kind of knowledge by searching about it in distinct websites and applications. This helps people not only to provide information around the universe but also it assist students in their academics. For instance, via Google, YouTube and many other educational applications, pupils can study online. Therefore, it is crystal clear that technology assist all the masses reagrding their edification. On the other hand, there are obvious demerits of utilising technology in free time. Firstly, the increasing use of technology in free periods makes people less socially active. In other words, folks prefer to pass their time by operating mechanical devices and do not interact with their family members, friends and neighbours. This results into depression and mental disorder among them. Secondly, humans become less physically active and can carry overweight due to the lack of physical movement. For example, in a survey held in India revealed that 3 out of 4 individuals found obese owing to the use of computer rather than playing or exercise in their free time. In conclusion, there are both positive and negative aspects of using technology in free time as it is source of all details about universe and entertainment. However, this can adversely effect public as they acquire extra calories by using technology.
In this high-tech era, masses nowadays have leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
due to enhancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. This essay will discuss both pros and cons of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in the forthcoming paragraphs.

On the one hand, there are various advantages of using technical equipments in spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. The predominant one is that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source of entertainment
as well
as education. To be specific, individuals can acquire any kind of knowledge by searching about it in distinct websites and applications. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to provide information around the universe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it
Did you mean "assists"?
assist
students in their academics.
For instance
, via Google, YouTube and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other educational applications, pupils can study online.
Therefore
, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
assist all the masses
Possible spelling mistake found.
reagrding
their edification.

On the other hand
, there are obvious demerits of
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilising' is British English.
utilising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Firstly
, the increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
periods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
less
socially
active.
In other words
, folks prefer to pass their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by operating mechanical devices and do not interact with their family members, friends and
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
. This results into depression and mental disorder among them.
Secondly
, humans become less
physically
active and can carry overweight due to the lack of physical movement.
For example
, in a survey held in India revealed that 3 out of 4 individuals found obese owing to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computer
rather
than playing or exercise in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
time.

In conclusion
, there are both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as it is
Consider using a past participle here: "sourced".
source
of all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about universe and entertainment.
However
, this can
adversely
effect public as they acquire extra calories by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.

IELTS essay Thanks to the increse of technology, people today have greater amount of time. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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