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SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT A PERSON'S SUCCESS IS AS A DIRECT RESULT OF THE WAY THEY WERE BROUGHT UP BT THEIR PARENTS . DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT A PERSON'S SUCCESS IS AS A DIRECT RESULT OF THE WAY THEY WERE BROUGHT UP BT THEIR PARENTS. bQ5gB
is argued that the way of bring up the person by their parents directly affects the success of that person in later life. To me, I completely agree with this argument owing to the roles that parents play in terms of building that character and provide right guidance to their children. Firstly, parents are the best teachers. People's character is always shaped by their parents. they learn several life lessons and discipline under parenting which are essential for children to achieve success in their life. the discipline and the way of communicate with elders, for example, by which one can impress and get respect in society. They are always thought by their parents in the way to be respectful with elders that helps them to get success in the social world. They can learn habits and the life lessons which can help them in many stages of their life. Secondly, individuals get achievements in their life by guidance of their parents. they can get the support from their family as well as they can share their difficulties with them which can be solve by the elders and it become easy for them to achieve their goals. For instance, many students face problem regarding to their career because they do not have appropriate support from their family. for those, it is much easier to choose career path who are guided by the experienced people. To recapitulate, parents contribution helps to build children's career and character by that they get success in their life. therefore, I agree that parenting reflects the person's success.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
is
argued that the way of bring up the person by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
directly
affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
of that person in later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To me, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this argument owing to the roles that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play in terms of building that character and provide right guidance to their children.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the best teachers.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
's character is always shaped by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
learn several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
lessons and discipline under parenting which are essential for children to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
discipline and the way of communicate with elders,
for example
, by which one can impress and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
respect in society. They are always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in the way to be respectful with elders that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in the social world. They can learn habits and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
lessons which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
stages of their life.

Secondly
, individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
achievements in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by guidance of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the support from their family
as well
as they can share their difficulties with them which can be
Consider using the past participle "solved"?
solve
by the elders and it
Did you mean "becomes"?
become
easy for them to achieve their goals.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students face problem
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
their career
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have appropriate support from their family.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
those, it is much easier to choose career path who
are guided
by the experienced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
contribution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to build children's career and character by that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that parenting reflects the person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.

IELTS essay SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT A PERSON'S SUCCESS IS AS A DIRECT RESULT OF THE WAY THEY WERE BROUGHT UP BT THEIR PARENTS.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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