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Tell us about yourself and your goals including the following: What about your background and/or interests makes you competitive for this particularly institute (please be as specific as possible)? What will you contribute to the group? How do you expect this experience will affect your future academic and professional career? How will it affect you personally?

Tell us about yourself and your goals including the following: What about your background and/or interests makes you competitive for this particularly institute (please be as specific as possible)? What will you contribute to the group? How do you expect this experience will affect your future academic and professional career? How will it affect you personally? X7EKO
Currently, education takes the main significant part in the life of every successful and independent person, to be more accurate, in the life of those who exactly want to became successful and independent. Precisely knowledge and the aspirations are the main aspects in order to achieve our goals and to be proud of our accomplishments. From early childhood I was mainly interested in two subjects at school: mathematic and English. Since that time I set a goal to combine these two subjects into one for getting higher education. To obtain a higher education I chose Business and Administration faculty at the East China Normal University. I can confidently say that studying business and administration is exactly what I see myself and my future successfully in. I already had some experiences in this area, since I worked as a cashier and also as an assistant manager. Having dealt with calculations, accounting and business affairs, I recognized that business is not just a faculty for me which I just want to graduate at the university, but for sure this is exactly what I want to connect my career life with. To graduate the university with the high diploma of the business and administration faculty I will be able to realize my ideas and goals. Having achieved success in studying in the field of business, I will have a lot of opportunities to develop it in my country. To be independent and have a success in business is a rare thing for a woman in my country. I want to show and prove that it is possible for a woman also to create a business, to have the same high-ranking career as men can have. I will create a business which will involve women in my country to share their ideas, knowledge and possibilities with other people. However, this is not my only aim in exploring business. Another significant reason is that I set a goal to develop the villages in the Gorno-Badakhshan Autonomous Region. The government in my country is always engaged in development precisely of the city centers, so that the villages that really need help from the government remain on the background. I have planned to graduate the business faculty and to start creating my own business in two directions at onсе. By other words I will engage other women in my country to my business and it will be based on the upgrade of Badakhshan’s villages. Although one essay is not enough to describe the whole essence of my goals for the future, I tried to explain them properly. And I am sure that I can do it, striving for it consciously and wisely.
Currently
, education takes the main significant part in the life of every successful and independent person, to be more accurate, in the life of those who exactly
want
to
became
successful and independent.
Precisely
knowledge and the aspirations are the main aspects in order to achieve our
goals
and to be proud of our accomplishments.

From early childhood I was
mainly
interested in two subjects at school: mathematic and English. Since that time I set a
goal
to combine these two subjects into one for getting higher education. To obtain a higher education I chose
Business
and Administration faculty at the East China Normal University. I can
confidently
say that studying
business
and administration is exactly what I
see
myself and my future
successfully
in. I already had
some
experiences in this area, since I worked as a cashier and
also
as an assistant manager. Having dealt with calculations, accounting and
business
affairs, I recognized that
business
is not
just
a faculty for me which I
just
want
to graduate at the university,
but
for sure this is exactly what I
want
to connect my career life with.

To graduate the university with the high diploma of the
business
and administration faculty I will be able to realize my
ideas
and
goals
. Having achieved success in studying in the field of
business
, I will have
a lot of
opportunities to develop it in my
country
. To be independent and have a success in
business
is a rare thing for a woman in my
country
. I
want
to
show
and prove that it is possible for a woman
also
to create a
business
, to have the same high-ranking career as
men
can have. I will create a
business
which will involve women in my
country
to share their
ideas
, knowledge and possibilities with other
people
.
However
, this is not my
only
aim in exploring
business
. Another significant reason is that I set a
goal
to develop the villages in the
Gorno-Badakhshan
Autonomous Region. The
government
in my
country
is always engaged in development
precisely
of the city centers,
so
that the villages that
really
need
help
from the
government
remain on the background. I have planned to graduate the
business
faculty and to
start
creating my
own
business
in two directions at
onсе
. By other words I will engage other women in my
country
to my
business
and it will
be based
on the upgrade of
Badakhshan
’s villages. Although one essay is not
enough
to
describe
the whole essence of my
goals
for the future, I tried to
explain
them
properly
. And I am sure that I can do it, striving for it
consciously
and
wisely
.
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IELTS essay Tell us about yourself and your goals including the following: What about your background and/or interests makes you competitive for this particularly institute (please be as specific as possible)? What will you contribute to the group? How do you expect this experience will affect your future academic and professional career? How will it affect you personally?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
445 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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