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More and more people are deciding to focus on their careers rather than having children. Why they decide to do this? What are the possible impacts this may have on society?

More and more people are deciding to focus on their careers rather than having children. Why they decide to do this? What are the possible impacts this may have on society? wMxbl
Nowadays it is increasingly popular to center people`s lives around careers instead of raising children. This development raises certain questions, namely: what is the reason of such conduct and what implications towards the society it has. The major cause of choosing career over children is a need to gain financial prosperity and it may lead to a much older society than nowadays. In our financially-tight times most of people don`t feel secure regarding their income. Even those with credentials from the higher-ranking universities have doubts about their debits and credits. This leads to dire need to minimize their financial obligations and maximize their cash flow. Having this in mind, sacrifysing parenting to succesful career is the sensible option for many people. For example, raising a kid up to 3 years of age - avarage age after which a toddler requires much less parent` attention - may significantly harm one`s career progression and, at the same time, may cost as much as one hundred US dollars (avarage sum of absolutly necassery payments assotiated with child care). It is inevitable that people who don`t have chidren will harm the age structure of the society. Not only don`t they add anything to rejuvenate the nation, but also directly hit it by eventually becoming elders themselves. In fact, the longer this trend stays in place the larger the scope of the problems caused by it becomes. In the long-term it will result in completly different proportions of youngsters and elders in the society. The examples of this tendency has already been visible in countries like Japan: nation is getting older by the virtue of those who had decided to climb a career ladder instead of heaving kids. To summarize, people`s choise to be child-free and work their way throug in their careers is most often done due to financial reasons and leads to the ageing population.
Nowadays it is
increasingly
popular to center
The character between 'people' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "people’s" (curly apostrophe) or "people's" (straight apostrophe).
people`s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
instead
of raising children. This development raises certain questions,
namely
: what is the reason of such conduct and what implications towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
it has. The major cause of choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
over children is a need to gain financial prosperity and it may lead to a much older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
than nowadays.

In our
financially
-tight times most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You used an accent character instead of an apostrophe. Please use either "don't" or "don’t".
don`t
feel secure regarding their income. Even those with credentials from the higher-ranking universities have doubts about their debits and credits. This leads to dire need to minimize their financial obligations and maximize their cash flow. Having this in mind,
Possible spelling mistake found.
sacrifysing
parenting to
Possible spelling mistake found.
succesful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
is the sensible option for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, raising a kid up to 3 years of age
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Possible spelling mistake found.
avarage
age after which a toddler requires much less parent` attention
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
may
significantly
harm
The character between 'one' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "one’s" (curly apostrophe) or "one's" (straight apostrophe).
one`s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
progression and, at the same time, may cost as much as one hundred US dollars (
Possible spelling mistake found.
avarage
sum of
Possible spelling mistake found.
absolutly
Possible spelling mistake found.
necassery
payments
Possible spelling mistake found.
assotiated
with child care).

It is inevitable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You used an accent character instead of an apostrophe. Please use either "don't" or "don’t".
don`t
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
chidren
will harm the age structure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You used an accent character instead of an apostrophe. Please use either "don't" or "don’t".
don`t
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
anything to rejuvenate the nation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
directly
hit it by
eventually
becoming elders themselves. In fact, the longer this trend stays in place the larger the scope of the problems caused by it becomes. In the long-term it will result in
Possible spelling mistake found.
completly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
proportions of youngsters and elders in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. The examples of this tendency has already been visible in countries like Japan: nation is getting older by the virtue of those who had decided to climb a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
ladder
instead
of heaving kids.

To summarize
,
The character between 'people' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "people’s" (curly apostrophe) or "people's" (straight apostrophe).
people`s
Possible spelling mistake found.
choise
to be child-free and work their way
Possible spelling mistake found.
throug
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
is most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
done due to financial reasons and leads to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
population.
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IELTS essay More and more people are deciding to focus on their careers rather than having children. Why they decide to do this? What are the possible impacts this may have on society?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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