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Tell us about your family background?

Tell us about your family background? BWOn6
To begin with, I was born and bred with a nice cooperative family in Syria, where all of us work in the medical field, my parents live in Saudi Arabia, and I and my siblings live in the capital of Syria. My father is a general surgeon and he is the cornerstone of my family. He has been working in surgery since 1992. My lovely mother is the sweetest person and the kindest-hearted woman I have ever seen. She is a general practitioner doctor besides taking great care of her family. My two brothers are ambitious students at the medical school of Damascus University. The elder one at the sixth grade, the other at the second grade. In addition, my older sister is an ophthalmic resident in the final year of her residency at Al Mowasat Hospital in Damascus.
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, I
was born
and bred with a nice cooperative family in Syria, where all of us work in the medical field, my parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Saudi Arabia, and I and my siblings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the capital of Syria. My father is a general
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
surgeon and
he is the cornerstone of my family. He has been working in surgery since 1992. My lovely mother is the sweetest person and the kindest-hearted woman I have ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
. She is a general practitioner doctor
besides
taking great care of her family. My two brothers are ambitious students at the medical school of Damascus University. The elder one at the sixth grade, the other at the second grade.
In addition
, my older sister is an ophthalmic resident in the final year of her residency at Al
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mowasat
Hospital in Damascus.

IELTS essay Tell us about your family background?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
139 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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