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People have different views about the development of technology has a contribution to creating gap between the rich and the poor. Although some believe that this development increases space between poor and rich people, I would content that a large section of machinery is available to narrow the gap.

People have different views about the development of technology has a contribution to creating gap between the rich and the poor. Although some believe that this development increases space between poor and rich people, I would content that a large section of machinery is available to narrow the gap. lxbEK
People have different views about the development of technology has a contribution to creating gap between the rich and the poor. Although some believe that this development increases space between poor and rich people, I would content that a large section of machinery is available to narrow the gap. On the one hand, there are those who claim that the reason for an increasing gap between people of different income group is the technological progresses. Firstly, due to the high cost of modern technological devices, only affluent people can afford to pay for these gadgets. For example, in today’s world, many major corporate owners are willing to squander money on purchasing automatic machines or automatons for their businesses, which allows them to not have to pay for labor or employees. This means that people at lower income levels are more likely to lose their jobs and see a significant decline in their earnings. As a result, the divide between wealthy individuals and the poverty has increasingly widened. Secondly, many people developing their businesses relating to technology are becoming the most prosperous businessmen in the world such as Bill Gate- a co-founder of Microsoft or Mark Zuckerberg- the creator of the social media website Facebook. On the other hand, I agree with those who advocate that the advancement of technology plays a positive role in decreasing the gap between the well earned and individual who are in a precarious financial condition. Primarily, the widespread development of technology allows many people in different conditions to access to the internet, which means that they can approach education in any situation. For example, in the case of Covid-19, children in remote areas who do not have to attend offline classes could still access to education via online applications such as Zoom or Microsoft Teams. Therefore, they will able to acquire the fundamental knowledge and skills which are necessary for their future. In addition, farmers can utilize high-end technological machines or approaches thanks to the development of technology. This helps people minimize their labor power while increasing their performance at work. As a result, senior citizens can generate a high revenue level, reducing the gap between both types of people. In conclusion, although technology could have set affluent individuals apart from others, I am of the opinion that technological products can narrow the gap between social layers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has a contribution to creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between the rich and the poor. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
increases space between poor and rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, I would content that a large section of machinery is available to narrow the gap.

On the one hand, there are those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
claim that the reason for an increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
income group is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
progresses.
Firstly
, due to the high cost of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
devices,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can afford to pay for these gadgets.
For example
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
major corporate owners are willing to squander money on purchasing automatic machines or automatons for their businesses, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for labor or employees. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at lower income levels are more likely to lose their jobs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a significant decline in their earnings.
As a result
, the divide between wealthy individuals and the poverty has
increasingly
widened.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
developing their businesses relating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are becoming the most prosperous businessmen in the world such as Bill Gate- a co-founder of Microsoft or Mark Zuckerberg- the creator of the social media website Facebook.

On the other hand
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
advocate that the advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
role in decreasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well earned
and individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are in a precarious financial condition.
Primarily
, the widespread
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
conditions to access to the internet, which means that they can approach education in any situation.
For example
, in the case of Covid-19, children in remote areas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
attend offline classes could
still
access to education via online applications such as Zoom or Microsoft Teams.
Therefore
, they
Did you mean "will be able"?
will able
to acquire the fundamental knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which are necessary for their future.
In addition
, farmers can utilize high-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
machines or approaches thanks to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
minimize their labor power while increasing their performance at work.
As a result
, senior citizens can generate a high revenue level, reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between both types of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
could have set affluent individuals apart from others, I am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
products can narrow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between social layers.
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IELTS essay People have different views about the development of technology has a contribution to creating gap between the rich and the poor. Although some believe that this development increases space between poor and rich people, I would content that a large section of machinery is available to narrow the gap.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
392 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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