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tell me about activity you usually do

tell me about activity you usually do 70REY
I think, we get introduced to volunteer work very early. For example, from elementary school to high school, we have launched and responded to movements such as donating books, clothes, etc. to the fund to recycle them for other purposes. But, The real volunteering that I participated in started in my high school years. It was the most unforgettable experience of my student life. Because the main task of students is learning. So at first, we only do small activities at school. Until summer break, all of our time is devoted to volunteering. The first will be to support two important exams: the 10th entrance exam and the graduation exam. After that time, our group will be assigned to volunteer in a commune. We will be at the activity from 5am, end at 5pm, and around noon, we buy our own food and cook together. We always work with a smile on our face. Although it is very tiring, the things that are received in return are worth it. It's a great way to help other people. It's also very satisfying to know that you are not wasting your time and are helping people who need help. Life is much more interesting when you're volunteer. Volunteer builds a strong relationship among humans. It is easy to make friends with the same hobbies and purpose. Moreover, volunteering also trains necessary skills. Such skills include communication skills, ability to work with others, ability to take direction and lead others, time management and dedication. Giving in volunteering is the first element to bring to the community, but the value brought is the lessons from community life, from stories, from the people, from the land we live in. come and it will be an invaluable lesson that by giving we get more back. . . My 3 years of high school have not missed a volunteer season.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
introduced to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early.
For example
, from elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, we have launched and responded to movements such as donating books, clothes, etc. to the fund to recycle them for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
purposes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, The real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteering
that I participated in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in my high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
years. It was the most unforgettable experience of my student life.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
the main task of students is learning.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
at
first
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
activities at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Until summer break, all of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is devoted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteering
. The
first
will be to support two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
exams: the 10th entrance exam and the graduation exam. After that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, our group will
be assigned
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
in a commune. We will be at the activity from 5am,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
at 5pm, and around noon, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
food and cook together. We always work with a smile on our face. Although it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
tiring, the things that
are received
in return are worth it. It's a great way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. It's
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
satisfying to know that you are not wasting your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and are helping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. Life is much more interesting when you're
Consider using a past participle here: "volunteered".
volunteer
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Volunteer
builds a strong relationship among humans. It is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends with the same hobbies and purpose.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteering
also
trains necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
include communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, ability to work with others, ability to take direction and lead others,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management and dedication. Giving in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteering
is the
first
element to bring to the community,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the value brought is the lessons from community life, from stories, from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, from the land we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and it will be an invaluable lesson that by giving we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more back.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
My 3 years of high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have not missed a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
season.
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IELTS essay tell me about activity you usually do

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
313 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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