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Please describe which of your activities (extracurricular activities,academic achivements or work experience) has been most meaningful and why.

Please describe which of your activities (extracurricular activities, academic achivements or work experience) has been most meaningful and why. J3G25
To be a head cheerleader in 5th years of high school, It is to ensure all abilities of confidence, leadership, and creativity skills. The head cheerleader also practices in maintaining efficiency and therefore promoting positive interpersonal skills with other people. Because I have to change schools in the fourth year of high school, it makes me miss out on doing academic activities at the first school. For institutions, they want students to be effective in extracurricular activities which can develop student’s abilities. When I started to be a head cheerleader, I was fascinated because several students wanted to do these activities as well. Dancing is one of the best parts that I relish to do since I was young and I have been in a girl group dancing in secondary school. That is why other teachers and friends give this role to me. The time spent with friends and juniors at school is a growing period for high school students. When school was closed, we had to practice more and more with the Christmas theme for sports events which made everyone felt fatigued because we all practiced for long hours in a day from 9 am in the morning to 4 pm in the afternoon. During that time, they gave me a huge hug and a hospitable smile, and told me that I did a great job every time we spent together and I work hard for them and be a strong leader. This speech made me thankful because at that time I studied hard and did these things at the same time which is hard for me because it was my first time planning all the songs, choreography, and making everyone trust me to do it well. Although the pandemic of Covid-19 was coming, every activity at school had to be canceled. Everyone was so sad, especially me but I think that we all did great all along. This was a good experience that I was interested in and thankful for everyone in my cheerleader team.
To be a head cheerleader in 5th years of high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, It is to ensure all abilities of confidence, leadership, and creativity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. The head cheerleader
also
practices in maintaining efficiency and
therefore
promoting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in the fourth year of high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me miss out on doing academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
at the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. For institutions, they want
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to be effective in extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which can develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
abilities. When I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to be a head cheerleader, I
was fascinated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
wanted to do these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
as well
. Dancing is one of the best parts that I relish to do since I was young and I have been in a girl group dancing in secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
That is
why other teachers and friends give this role to me. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent with friends and juniors at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a growing period for high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
was closed
, we had to practice more and more with the Christmas theme for sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
which made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
felt fatigued
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we all practiced for long hours in a day from 9
This is redundant. Consider using "am".
am in the morning
to 4
This is redundant. Consider using "pm".
pm in the afternoon
. During that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they gave me a huge hug and a hospitable smile, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that I did a great job every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
we spent together and I work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them and be a strong leader. This speech made me thankful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
I studied
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and did these things at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was my
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
planning all the songs, choreography, and making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "trusts", "trusted".
trust
me to do it well. Although the pandemic of Covid-19 was coming, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
had to
be canceled
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Everyone
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
sad,
especially
me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that we all did great all along. This was a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
experience that I
was interested
in and thankful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
in my cheerleader team.
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IELTS essay Please describe which of your activities (extracurricular activities, academic achivements or work experience) has been most meaningful and why.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
337 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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